does labour live in a bubble?

we have all heard the phrase 'new labour, old tory' but now it seems we have 'scottish labour follows where scottish tories lead' after the first minister of the scottish executive jacky mcconnell (labour) has just announced he will do as the scottish tories have been demanding for a while - an end to automatic prisoner release, or did he..?

in his new year message mcconnell said the following:

We will end the system that allows prisoners to be automatically released without any conditions being attached.

but he wasn't saying that in november when pressed by the leader of the conservatives in the scottish parliament, annabel goldie. in three different exchanges in the parliament, at first minister's questions (fmqs), annabel attacked mcconnell on the issue. here is the exchange from the 16 november.

Miss Goldie: Yesterday, Craig Nimmo was convicted of the culpable homicide of Bryan Drummond, an innocent man who, like so many others, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nimmo was originally charged with murder but pled guilty on a reduced plea and was sentenced to nine years. Can the First Minister tell me when he expects Mr Nimmo to be walking our streets again?

The First Minister: That will be a matter for the Scottish Prison Service.

Miss Goldie: It will be a matter for the Prison Service working under the law that the First Minister and his Executive have persisted in maintaining. The First Minister may pretend that he is abolishing early release, but he is merely replacing the existing system of early release with a new system of early release. Nobody is fooled.

The First Minister: I say again this week that what Annabel Goldie claims is simply not true...

Miss Goldie: I would have thought that the First Minister would be conversant with his Executive's bill, which redefines "sentence". Under the bill, with the exception of life sentences, a "sentence" will become a mixture—a mongrel—that is partly served in jail and partly served in the community. The difficulty for the First Minister is that he has to accept that that is a radical departure from traditional custodial sentencing in Scotland. I suspect that other victims' families would not be impressed by his answer. Let us consider Frances Getgood, who was stabbed by her husband 10 times while he was out on early release from a sentence for a previous attack on her. Last week, he was sentenced to five years and four months.

you can read the whole transcript on the parliament's website by clicking here. so will mcconnell actually be scrapping early release or will he be redefining the word sentence? when prisoners are released before serving their full term - but have served their newly defined 'sentence' - what would mcconnell like us to call it?

but then mcconnell does appear to be having a problem with reality. here is part of the following week's fmqs:

Miss Goldie: ...In his five years, the figure for total crime and offences has gone up. Crimes of indecency are up, rape and attempted rape are up, and fire raising and vandalism are up. Handling of offensive weapons is up and the number of persons recalled to prison from licence is up by almost 100 per cent. That is what the Executive's own statistics show. Is that really a record to be proud of?

The First Minister: That is simply not true. The reality about crime in Scotland today is that 20,000 fewer crimes were recorded by the police last year. Housebreaking has fallen for seven successive years. There were 1,000 fewer victims of serious violent crime last year and violent crime is at its lowest level since before devolution. The number of homicides fell by almost 30 per cent last year...

if you click on this link you can watch a bbc video, released on the 24 dec 06, about a leaked government document that shows crime has gone up for the first time in twelve years! or you could click on this link to read a bbc report on crime rise. or you could click here to read the telegraph newspaper report on the rise in crime. or perhaps you would prefer to read the scotsman who also report on the rise in crime.

all around him crime is rising and prisoners are being released early - any link? mcconnell is living in a bubble.

does the times newspaper read this blog?

t'other day the campaign wrote a little rant about a possible large pay rise for council workers; citing shoddy road works and crap rubbish disposals as reasons to be annoyed over the ever spiralling cost of council tax. today the times newspaper ran with the same story on page one of it's scottish edition. what was on page one of the english edition, anybody? in the times article the cost of private sector contracts was cited as the reason for an expected rise of at least 4% in bills... well, they had to tweak it slightly to hide the fact they ran with a story the campaign had already covered... or maybe it was just by chance... read the times article here.

don't worry, i'm not going to use this as a chance to trumpet the scottish conservative policy of cutting council tax for everyone over the age of 65 by 50%.

don't forget about scotland, they defect here too you know

earlier in the day iain dale boasted of a number of lib-dem defections to the tories, sporting of the fact the hippies are running out of support - both in the polls and when it comes to finding people to stand for them. whilst it was an article about candidate defections an opportunity was missed to sport a lib-dem defection to the tories north of the border. in november a lib-dem councillor in dumfries and galloway joined the tories on the back of an independant doing so a week earlier. this is important as the tories now control more than a quarter of the council and have gone from the third largest group in the council to joint largest, surely a good thing for the people of dumfries and galloway... below is part of the tory press release marking the occasion.

The Conservative group now has 13 members with the announcement that Denis Male, councillor for Langholm and Upper Eskdale, is to join them. He was a Scottish
Lib Dem councillor for almost 20 years.

Commenting, Denis said: “The best way forward for me and the people of my ward is by joining the Conservatives. Having seen the Conservatives in action for some considerable time I am convinced they are a well-disciplined and effective
group.”

This news follows an announcement last week that former Independent councillor for Canonbie and Kirtle, Ian Lindsay, is also joining the Conservatives.

this said, anyone else think denis male was actually saying "i saw which way the wind was blowing so jumped ship"? surely this is more worrying for the lib-dems; when they lose elected representatives who think their jobs are safest in tory hands...

rss stands for really stupid syndication...

...well it must. i've just spent a whole episode of men behaving badly attempting to add that functionality to this blog - no, i can't think why either but these are the things one does when bored. after finally battling the millions of "must read" pages and blurbs i got to the well-done finale. yet it seems when clicking on the logo/icon - from now on to be called 'the stupid orange box' - readers only get to see the first 25 posts uploaded. well that's helpful, isn't it. i'm off to find some coca cola...

what's all the fuss? we know auzzies play dirty.

the big story in the fourth test down under is not england's continued humiliation, nor the loss to cricket shane warne and glenn mcgrath's imminent retirement will be, and nor is it whether england will lose 5-0 for the first time since 1920. nope. it appears to be the story of the auzzies cheating again. if you can't be bothered clicking the link the story goes; england, none surprisingly, have a little plan which outlines the weakness of each auzzie batter. normally this isn't anything of interest as all teams do it. today, though, the auzzies decide to get hold of a copy and broadcast the plans over abc when the match is still in play.

this is big? the campaign is not sure why. australia have done this thing before, during the 2003 rugby world cup they spied on the team in training and at rest. during the 2001 british lions tour they spied on the team's training methods and broke their line-out codes. click here and here to read more. so what's all the fuss? we know they play dirty.

when england won the ashes in 2005 flintoff's first thought was to commiserate the auzzies (see picture). when they win it's ye auld beat the chest and stomp around like sophisticated types. it's what we expect from them...

shouldn't the story be an analysis of where the said plans went wrong?

cue more council tax rises

i have a postman who sticks little red card things through our letterbox telling me they tried to deliver a parcel but there was no-one in at the time. 'er indoors has been writing her dissertation since we moved into edinburgh and barely leaves the flat until mid-day, and only then to go to work for a few hours. either a) the postman is too lazy to carry the parcel up three flights of stairs and thus leaves the note because he's a lazy bugger or b) 'er indoors leaves the flat as soon as i do every morning for something so clandestine i am unawares...

i moved into the street in may 2006 - the local council were repaving the streets at this time. when the festival started they were still working on the same street, mine...

my block of flats has no rubbish point for collection forcing the residents to leave their refuse on the street for the binmen to collect. mysteriously, every sunday and wednesday nights the street are rubbish strewn. if we wait till the morning and take the rubbish down on the way to work the binmen have oft already visited, and gone.

how joyed i am to read then, that these glorious jobsworths are to get an even more generous working life. to watch click here.

no idea when i first heard this

first heard this on rte

Day One

Dear Nuala, Thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear-tree. We’re getting the hang of feeding the partridge now, although it was difficult at first to win its confidence. It bit the mother rather badly on the hand but they’re good friends now and we’re keeping the pear-tree indoors in a bucket. Thank you again. Yours affectionately, Gobnait O’Lúnasa

Day Two

Dear Nuala, I cannot tell you how surprised we were to hear from you so soon again and to receive your lovely present of two turtle doves. You really are too kind. At first the partridge was very jealous and suspicious of the doves and they had a terrible row the night the doves arrived. We had to send for the vet but the birds are okay again and the stitches are due to some out in a week or two. The vet’s bill was £8 but the mother is over her annoyance now and the doves and the partridge are watching the telly from the pear-tree as I write. Yours ever, Gobnait

Day Three

Dear Nuala, We must be foremost in your thoughts. I had only posted my letter when the three French hens arrived. There was another sort-out between the hens and the doves, who sided with the partridge, and the vet had to be sent for again. The mother was raging because the bill was £16 this time but she has almost cooled down. However, the fact that the birds’ droppings keep falling down on her hair whilen she’s watching the telly, doesn’t help matters. Thanking you for your kindness. I remain, Your Gobnait

Day Four

Dear Nuala, You mustn’t have received my last letter when you were sending us the four calling birds. There was pandemonium in the pear-tree again last night and the vet’s bill was £32. The mother is on sedation as I write. I know you meant no harm and remain your close friend. Gobnauit

Day Five

Nuala, Your generosity knows no bounds. Five gold rings ! When the parcel arrived I was scared stiff that it might be more birds, because the smell in the living-room is atrocious. However, I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the beautiful rings. Your affectionate friend, Gobnait

Day Six

Nuala,What are you trying to do to us ? It isn’t that we don’t appreciate your generosity but the six geese have not alone nearly murdered the calling birds but they laid their eggs on top of the vet’s head from the pear-tree and his bill was £68 in cash ! My mother is munching 60 grains of Valium a day and talking to herself in a most alarming way. You must keep your feelings for me in check. Gobnait

Day Seven

Nuala,We are not amused by your little joke. Seven swans-a-swimming is a most romantic idea but not in the bath of a private house. We cannot use the bathroom now because they’ve gone completely savage and rush the door every time we try to enter. If things go on this way, the mother and I will smell as bad as the living-room carpet. Please lay off. It is not fair. Gobnait

Day Eight

Nuala,Who the hell do you think gave you the right to send eight, hefty maids-a-milking here, to eat us out of house and home ? Their cattle are all over the front lawn and have trampled the hell out of the mother’s rose-beds. The swans invaded the living-room in a sneak attack and the ensuing battle between them and the calling birds, turtle doves, French hens and partridge make the Battle of the Somme seem like Wanderly Wagon. The mother is on a bottle of whiskey a day, as well as the sixty grains of Valium. I’m very annoyed with you. Gobnait

Day Nine

Listen you looser! There’s enough pandemonium in this place night and day without nine drummers drumming, while the eight flaming maids-a-milking are eating my poor, old alcoholic mother out of her own kitchen and gobbling everything in sight. I’m warning you, you’re making an enemy of me. Gobnait

Day Ten

Listen manure-face,I hope you’ll be haunted by the strains of ten pipers piping which you sent to torment us last night. They were aided in their evil work by those maniac drummers and it wasn’t a pleasant sight to look out the window and see eight hefty maids-a-milking pogo-ing around with the ensuing punk-rock uproar. My mother has just finished her third bottle of whiskey, on top of a hundred and twenty four grains of Valium. You’ll get yours! Gobnait O’Lúnasa

Day Eleven

You have scandalised my mother, you dirty Jezebel,It was bad enough to have eight maids-a-milking dancing to punk music on the front lawn but they’ve now been joined by your friends ~ the eleven Lords-a-leaping and the antics of the whole lot of them would leave the most decadent days of the Roman Empire looking like “Outlook”. I’ll get you yet, you old bag!

Day Twelve

Listen slurry head,You have ruined our lives. The twelve maidens dancing turned up last night and beat the living daylights out of the eight maids-a-milking, ‘cos they found them carrying on with the eleven Lords-a-leaping. Meanwhile, the swans got out of the living-room, where they’d been hiding since the big battle, and savaged hell out of the Lords and all the Maids. There were eight ambulances here last night, and the local Civil Defence as well. The mother is in a home for the bewildered and I’m sitting here, up to my neck in birds’ droppings, empty whiskey and Valium bottles, birds’ blood and feathers, while the flaming cows eat the leaves off the pear-tree. I’m a broken man. Gobnait O’Lúnasa

ideas for christmas

came across this on wonko's world. quality. the merchandise is a little over priced but well worth buying one for anyone who thinks it's time to stop taking the crap that comes from petulant little jochs.

the link to the shop is here.

i shouldn't speak

in an earlier post the Y campaign sought to criticise gareth southgate, not for his stewardship of the boro, but for his attack on the best manager the team has ever had. he blamed the recent poor form on the way mclaren left the club whilst the campaign pointed out that southgate has made some errors of his own in his 5 minutes at the helm.

one of those mistakes criticised was the signing of julio arca, another being boro's form which has reduced the european finalists to relegation cannon fodder.

well, today julio arca scored in a 2-0 win over charlton athletic and the team moved up to 14th place and 5 points off mid-table. proof that the campaign was wrong or proof that the boro are avid readers of this blog and took the telling off like men?

excitement over the result should be tapered with a hint of realism. we beat charlton, but so have 10 other teams in the league and wycombe wanderers in the cup. we are 5 points off mid-table but a mere 2 above relegation. julio scored, but he still can not defend.

a good result putting the team in the right direction, but southgate must find a way to keep this going and turn it into an unbeaten run. maybe then can he broadside mclaren.

and the excuses begin early

gareth southgate - the manager of the greatest team in football - has come out this weekend and began the excuse squealing as to why the team is underperforming this season.

here's an update for the none campaigners. under the previous incumbent the boro finished mid-table regularly and even made seventh place one season. the boro played two seasons in europe getting to the final of the uefa cup on the second attempt - even winning a domestic cup in the process. under southgate the team are currently relegation fodder - 17th place as i type.

southgate's responce is to blame his predeccessor for the precarious position he has guided the team into:

Southgate claims Boro were left in a state of limbo following his appointment to
the England post. The Boro boss told the Daily Mail: "We have inherited problems from the previous season. "Most clubs had already planned their pre-seasons and planned their signings but we didn't have that in place as the manager knew he was going."

so southgate is blaming his old mentor for not doing all the homework for him as the reason the boro are struggling... ...the Y campaign has a few observations on this.

firstly; southgate's signings leave alot to scratch one's head over. robert huth for £6 million was a good shout whilst johnathon woodgate on loan seems inspired. however julio arca is not worth 1.75 pence let alone £1.75 million. abel xavier is clearly missing match fitness due to his 18 month drug suspention whilst pogatetz is a decent buy but has never proved himself quality premiership material. southgate still needs to justify why he let hasselbaink leave...

secondly: southgate's man management is thrown into doubt by steve round's departure. steve has been a stalwart coach for boro since 2001 and still had 3 and half years left on his contract. yet he walked earlier last month. no explanation given that the campaign can see.

thirdly: mclaren has proved himself as a good manager - southgate has not. the campaign is inclined to believe the proven over the rookie. southgate needs to pull boro out of this mire and secure a mid-table slot before he can take broadsides at someone who has been doing it for a while now.

update 29 xii 06: found an old article on the times website that alludes to a clear disagreement between styles, round being replaced by boro legend colin cooper. you can read the article here.

merry xmas terrorists

another steal, this time from theo spark.

the monster raving looney party

the Y campaign does not often agree with other political parties - escpecially those that take votes away from the party. however, bored on a friday night i came across the 'official monster raving looney party' 2005 manicfesto and read this:

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.

well, the Y campaign fully endorses that idea! read the full manicfesto here.

time to kneel down and pray

it's an old joke i know but i received it email form today so decided to share with the campaign team.

yuletide greetings

and a very merry seasonal greetings from the now oddly tacky conservative party...

click here.

i want the money without earning it, they complain

just read this interview by rafael benitez (liverpool fc manager) on mother beeb where he complains about fixture congestion:

How can you be a normal person in the street with parties on 31 December and then be ready for a game if you play 1 January?

the Y campaign thinks the question is misguided. the team has decided that the question ought to have been: how can you be a normal person in the street when you earn more in a week than everone around does in a year...

the Y campaign also thinks those paid a bucket load of money for kicking a ball around should shut up and earn their money

sweet merciful incompetence

browsing the blogsphere i came across an odd article on david davis' (tory mp for monmouth) blog. he tabled a question to the labour secretary of state for defence (whose name is akin to swearing) on how many munitions were stolen from the british army over the last twelve months...

...the answer...

10 rifles, 2 pistols, 230 rounds (bullets) to fire out of them and 2 grenades!!! erm, maybe i'm being naive, but - gulp.

the written responce can be found here.

the Y campaign does not condone new labour incompetence.

so funny...

saw this and just had to steal it from guido...

for those living on the moon, here's the latest saga of 40 odd year politican dating 12 year old pop singer... erm she's an illigal immigrant and he intervened...

itn news sucks

fog chaos, fog chaos shout the banner headlines - "so the moral of the story is, take the train next time" asked the stupid female news reporter. what crazyness.

there's fog. heathrow is being sensible by reducing the number of flights so planes do not crash into each other. seriously, is our society so arrogant that it thinks it is superior to nature - 'oh just turn off the fog, now where did i put that remote?'

daft, sensationlist journalism does not help the situation either. is she capable of reporting without using a gazillion superlatives every sentence???

...if we believe that crime is falling then...

on an almost monthly basis the executive trumpets it's own excellence. the herald will run a piece on how brilliant jackie mcconnell is or the daily record will inform the scottish people that the evil tories will undo all this great work and reduce the country to some kind of hell hole.

one of those monthly gems is that crime is falling, and is below pre-1997 levels. the Y campaign doesn't normally believe such nonsense - just like the campaign doesn't believe in tooth fairies or the bogey man. but going the way of the ignorant and innocent for a moment let us accept jackie mcconnell's soothsaying wisdom and agree that crime is falling.

why is it falling? more police - community wardens don't count. better detection - susan mckay and the fingerprint fiasco!? more criminals in prison ergo less on the streets? well, no, actually. the truth is more criminals on the streets and less in prisons.

thanx to annabel goldie (the leader of the conservatives in the scottish parliament) we know this not to be true. criminals in fact seem to find it easier to avoid jail than at any point in history.

after a series of robust questions tabled in holyrood the executive was forced to admit the following - as described in annabel's words:

"Changes in the bail laws... mean that a presumption against bail where the accused was charged with a serious offence has been replaced by a presumption in favour of freedom... In 1999, just three people were granted bail on a murder charge. By 2004 that figure had risen to 55. It is a disgraceful state of affairs and no wonder there is a mood of despair at the justice system’s seeming inability to protect the public... Earlier this month we heard that the number of people charged with rape who have been granted bail has doubled since 1999/2000 (133 to 270 in 2005/6).

"You do not have to prove you deserve bail anymore, it is virtually gift-wrapped to anyone. Quite simply, that should not be the case."

could it be that jackie is soft on crime, soft on the causes of crime? or perhaps it's all the echr's fault and the executive is simply following european directives? either the situation is disgraceful. if it is the fault of europe then the executive should have balls to stand up to brussels and refuse to adopt laws that make our streets less safe, that endanger people's safety or very lives. if it's simply jackie and co. being soft on crime then they should be ashamed of themselves and quit in disgrace.

if we believe that crime is falling then the executive is a disgrace.

royal zoological society of scotland

or the edinburgh zoo to you and i is where i spent the day with 'er indoors after we visited the little france part of town.

a dinky hp digital camera combined with adobe photoshop element 4.0 can make the penguins from over there seem over here, so they can.

makes one nearly as chuffed as the guy who took this picture - quality...

not sure which trailer excites me more...

bruce banging heads together in die hard 4, sorry live free or die hard due out july 4 2007.



or homer simpson, who by comparison has more hair and is also due out next july, 27 2007.

intellectual observations by heavy weight thinkers

i've just enjoyed reading about the group girls aloud who voyeured into politics this week with an interview in the new statesman. they follow in the foot steps of bob geldoff, bono et al and voiced their opinions on the world and british politics. bless...

here is a highlight of what they said.

on whether or not politicians should stop being dull and boring and try and appeal more to voters, especially the young. our intrepid voyeurs ventured:
Politicians should stop trying to be "cool" and get on with running the country... It should be left to bands to get teenagers talking about politics by going into schools and "spreading the word
i'm scared. our children will be taught about politics by a bunch of ignorant air-heads under their proposals. if you think i'm being harsh, keep reading.

One of the band thought they had met Chancellor Gordon Brown - but the others assured her it was actually Home Secretary John Reid who had been pictured with them at an awards ceremony.
well aren't they licensed to criticise?

Politics did not feature in "normal magazines and newspapers" and it needed to be more "user friendly," they told the New Statesman... which was followed by ...it was a mistake for politicians to try to be too trendy - how dare you insinuate they're oxymoronic and contradictory, stop being mean. they're cute, not designed to be anything but stupid. what the heck is a normal newspaper and if a normal magazine means glossy then how do none trendy types get into a publication that only covers modern cultures fads?

For the record, they are anti-war, pro-grammar school and support high taxation - as long as they could see where the money was going.
okay, so they're liking the lib dem anti-war stance, the old tory vangaurd of bringing excellence back into schools and the new labour stance of raising taxes. i wonder if they realise?

i like it when the 'cool' kids get involved in stuff they don't understand. they should do it more often in my opinion. i don't wear 'bling' and listen to r n/or b and get interviewed in those chav mags about 'bling'. i would look like an idiot - just like girls aloud now look. for a fuller analysis of the article check out mother beeb here.

for more on the 'cool' kids being clever read here.

britain: closed until the next conservative government

the announcement this week that the government will close 2,500 post offices should not be seen as a surprise, they have after-all closed over 6,000 in the last decade. added together that's 8,500 post offices since 1997. to put this into context there were 25,000 post offices in the 1960's; a quarter thus closed by bliar and his mob. read more here.

post ofices are not the only thing blair and his mob like to close. jacky mcconnell (wannabe emperor of scotlandshire) has been busy closing down hospitals and nhs service across the country. 31 hospitals can be identified as having closed or have had their services to patients reduced under jacky mc. for more read here. health is a de-evolved issue north of the border but that doesn't mean englandshire is free from being closed down. for more read here.

it seems also that labour, and none surprsingly the snp, want to close down our defence. because terrorism has gone away and no-one has the ability to attack or invade britain! all six of the nats mps are against bliar's plans for replacing trident. trident being nuclear defense system and affects heavily our naval ability. so the nats don't technically want to close britain down, they just want to open our borders to anyone wanting to attack us. interestingly half of all scottish mps are against it (with 15 labour mps amongst them).

not only have labour reduced hospital services and closed a quarter of all post offices but they want to reduce our armed forces to a bunch of socialists with pic forks. and all this whilst tax has gone up. i don't feel that's value for money, do you?

update - 0018hrs 17 xii 06: i came across an amusing link on google videos via a rampant nat blog. the vid from scotland today explores the problems labour are facing over the move to continue defending these shores for longer than the 1,000 years we've done so far. in the vid is an amusing point where jacky mcconnell runs down a corrider to avoid answering a reasonable question he's too mentally incapable to answer whilst a bible basher calls nuclear defence "morally and theologically wrong". idiocy amuses me. to watch click here.

i won a bet, but i can't remember what i win

when terminator 3 came out i saw it a week before everyone else as the meekster got his hand on a decent copy from who knows where. we watched it in a midget sized room at one of the halls of residence at university where he was staying as he worked there for the summer to help put himself through uni.

i vaguely remember saying something to the effect that the ending was a deliberate attempt to open the way for a fourth which would tell the tale of the fight betwixt man and machine. the meekster rebuffed this observing the story has ended and there would be no more films. we debated, we argued, we came up with scenario's and theories. then we got drunk.

today i discover on the movie bible database that i am right and the fourth will be with us in 2008, no indication yet of the plot though.

if only i could remember what i won.

management in a left wing world

those campaigners that have ever tried driving around edinburgher will appreciate this one. i fear this is not a localised syndrome.

whiter than white, my arse

you remember the slogans, the phrases of '97. bliar promising to be whiter than white. politics not sleaze. at almost every opportunity bliar describes the 1990's as hell on earth and britain under new labour as some kind of fantasia heaven where everything is clean, green and generally better.

erm, so to raise party funds blair sells off titles. read here for the story breaking on bbc. read here for the new twist, a donor given a menu of honours. iain dale said it best.

Today is the day the British people must now realise that this government isn't fit to govern us. They've brought shame on themselves, their government and their country.

i'm a tory so the feeling of 'we told you so' is strong right now. i add to the avalanche of condemnation as i came across this old post by guido fawkes which highlighted another disgusting episode of labour sleaze that did get buried. you can read that clicking here.

we've had many great prime ministers in this country; from disraeli, through gladstone, churchill and thatcher. stop tainting the position by voting for that man!

why we lost the ashes...

just been perusing mother beeb and wept a few tears for the state of english cricket. i've heard many say we lose on account of bad luck (vaughan, trescothick and now giles all absent) and some say it's the selectors fault (panesar's excellent display in perth does add weight to this theory) but this Y campigner has a different view (not that you're surprised).

for the neanderthals amongst you here is a quick up-date on how the players are choosen.

a team consists of 11 players who all have a skill in one of the main categories of play; batting, bowling and fielding. normarily a team consists of 5 batters, 5 bowlers and an all-rounder (flintoff). it is to be expected that the bowlers excell in bowling out the opposition and for the batsmen to get more runs than anyone else. the figures for the first two test match's suggest england are amongst those unaware of this.

collingwood (eng) is our highest hitter with an average of 109 runs but would only rank third on the auzzie list. strauss (eng) is apperantly a batsman though his average of 17 runs places him below all but three auzzie's - below their bowlers clark (auz) and warne (auz). not only have we batted poorly we haven't bowled like ashes winners. our best bowlers have been hoggard (eng) 10, flintoff (eng) 7 and giles (eng) 3 - the hero of 2005 harmison (eng) only managed 1! this is compared to clark (auz) 11, mcgrath (auz) 9 and warne (auz) 9.

injuries can weaken a side, dodgy selections can put a side at a disadvantage but if those choosen to play do not turn up and perform then the urn will not stay on these shores.

i've been busy at the office

the regional rankings has seen me working three 12 hour shifts in a row and getting heavily drunk last night - naturally blogging fell by the way side. the regional rankings is the process political parties go through to rank their msps in order of preference, after the election the percentage of votes is divied up and each political party receive extra msps based on the total. the totals are split between artificial regions allowing msps to be called regional msps and their portfolio covering several constituencies. msps are also still voted in by the good old fashioned first past the post method (fptp) resulting in people loosing an election but still being giving the job. i know, but this is scotland and they like proportional representation (pr) so 129 politicians cover 73 constituencies.

the system has heavy consequences for the scottish parliament. a) no one party will ever get over 50% of the vote so coalition governments will forever rule and voters thus never ever get the manifesto they voted for. b) smaller parties get political recognition they arguably do not deserve as they did not win yet still get msps! the greens, the socialists and us all benefit. e.g. we only won three fptp seats but still have 17 msps. c) labour will get hit hard on fptp merits next year but will still get msps voted in by pr meaning - i predict - they will still be the largest party in holyrood despite people voting them out. d) regional msps have no direct acountablility to the voter - most voters don't know who their's are and definately can not vote them out. how is this democracy? it's more like democrazy...

so all this nonsense has meant stuffing c.v's into envelope's for the party's 13,000 members eligable to vote on the order of preference for our candidates. it's quite interesting to read the multitude of c.v's and it will be even more interesting to see how the results turn out in january. coming third favourite for the region can mean not sneaking into holyrood as a regional msp whilst coming second or first for a reason means that a candidate can happily not win their seat - heck doesn't have to campaign - and will still get a job at the end of the day because the party gets x% of votes across the country. anyone? the sense?

this system is loved by tree-hugging lib dems everywhere as it means they get more seats than they deserve and everyone else less. they just can't except that if you lose the game you don't deserve the victory. they think taking part deserves a medal. which would explain this. man do they hate loosing!

the new asbo?

those unable to find a life that doesn't involve scouring mother beep and other web-based forms of procrastination would have been as horrified and bemused as i was when they read this pile of piffle.

this is another example of the left-wing approach to government; solve every problem with a massive amount of bureaucracy that makes no clear distinction of how the problem will be resolved. jack mcconnell has a similar logic/illogic retardation going on. he's the kind of man that thinks because 1% of scotland stammer then all of scotland must avoid illiteration because it can be viewed as a form of linguistic prejudice...

seriously, how will a website listing names of those who don't pay child maintenance help the women raising children on a shoe-string budget? it is even presumptuous and out-of-touch of the feckers to think that single parents raising children alone can afford laptops and internet connections. many cannot because so called daddy is not paying maintenance... ignoring that ridiculous leap of presumption alone we will move onto another mater.

i remember there was a brief attempt to 'name and shame' paedophiles on the web. this was quickly followed by a 'news of the world' campaign to publish that particular bunch of degenerates. (can't find url links, any help?) this exercise was dropped on account of it breaching their human rights... erm, paedo.s have rights but scum dad's don't? it's okay to advertise dodgy dads but not paedo.s? erm, help... i don't understand this. they are both bad people, but one is far worse than the other. surely.

in summary; dead beat dads are dead beat dads. neds are neds. asbo's are a badge of honour to the young so why would one's name on a website advertising the fact the ned dad is a ned dad help in any way shape or form? it's an adult asbo, a more manly badge of honour. man make child, man don't pay.

labour need to start thinking things through. instead of a stupid website that gives no help to vulnerable women they should be spending that money taking the useless dads to court and hiting them with very very heavy fines. they should be forced to play their part or pay up. they should not be given a gloat; "hey guys, my name's on this stupid fecking government website"

it's a small island

msn is handy for many things; getting the meekster to forward me songs i like, playing games when bored and randomly keeping in touch with people you are far too cheap to phone up and chat to.

today over msn i found out by chance, that by chance, the editor of this defunct website was someone i had a passing acquaintance with at university had lunch with one of the party's bright young things and by chance met his sister who is by chance my line manager. by chance of course. the bright young thing can do well in pendle and the editor seems to be striving hard to ensure that the reformed cf branch of greater-burnley (my description) do more than devour free drink.

i wish them all the best but find i am also cautious. cf members really do apear en-masse for free drink but i am yet to discover a hard working branch that delivers - leaflets and promises that is. i am also cautious about the results from the last general election there, for detail read here. squeezing the lemon it can be seen thus way; swing to tories was 2.7% but only because labour vote fell 7.5% masking the fact our vote fell 2.1%, yet the turnout in pendle was up! ergo, tory vote goes up nearly everywhere but pendle.

there are many good arguments as to why i am wrong and i hope that i am proved wrong. but when the exact gap betwixt labour and us is almost identical to the bnp vote i fear the new direction dc is taking our party will see history repeat itself in pendle. but then there is a reason why dc will be the next prime minister and i am pendle's ppc's sister's underling - and that's not by chance.

er indoors forgot

if the meekster is reading this; 'er indoors forgot and that's the reason you wont wake up to a b'day card on saturday morning. not that you'll care, but hey; don't go wrecking the place. woman's fault. happy twenty something.

i dont have word...

so the new laptop came with microsoft works - i get the oxymoron now.

all i want to do is turn 'er indoors latest essay thing into something her prof's can read. they cant read works. for some reason pdf wont do. for some reason the later the hand in the more marks lost.

anyhu, in fighting against the obtuse nature that is microsoft. ive tried bittorrent. ive tried pdf conversion into email. wordpad, notepad and in the end i just sent it via msn to bungle. bungle the man of the hour did something his end - i emphasis something on account i'd like to sound as if i understand what went on. i don't. nearly 50 mins later we have something to send as an email that the lazy woman with word who cant be annoyed downloading works can read. i say bring back pen and paper, surely less hassle.

anyhu. bungle wasted good 'girls aloud' watching time to help so tonite's blog is a big thank you to the man from belfast. one wonders where the comp sci meekster was :)

you don't really believe bliar and co, do you?

national security is safer when everyone carries around i.d. cards.

all criminals will be caught when everyone's dna is on record.

no street crime will occur with c.c.t.v. on every street corner.

well, if you believe all that then fair enough. hippy. for those campaigners' who think civil liberties are more than a montesquieu fantasy then you wont be so easily fooled and will more than likely be against i.d. cards. turn the volume up and remind yourself why,
http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf .

hat-tip for video link to iain dale.

reasons not to vote labour # 92

the labour infested scottish executive housed in the splenderous scottish parliament (a steal at only £431 million) published this week the early awaited 20 year transport plan in the guise of scotland's national transport strategy.

in it we were to find out what our masters had in mind for how we travel in this part of the colonies. when we would get a new bridge to replace the one falling down. when rail is going to stop being the most expensive mode of travel. when the a6 is going to be dualled or when will the universe's most dangerous road (from aberdeen to inverness) be made safe enough for kit.

you can read the document in full here. it is a breathtaking 86 pages in length (well actually 69 pages are devoted to the plan, the rest to self congratulatory piffle) which is an astonishing 3.4 pages per year. criticism is simply too harsh.

taxpayer: when will get a new bridge to replace the one falling down?

tavish scott: i want to see scotland's transport reducing the impact it has on the environment, particularly carbon emissions. the plan does not mention the possibility of a new bridge, at all.

taxpayer: when will rail travel cease being the most expensive so people actually consider using the rolling tin cans?

tavish scott: speed cameras may become more prevalent because enforcing the speed limit reduces fuel use and so cuts greenhouse gas emissions. ahh, so by making car travel too expensive for lower wage earners rail travel by comparison will not be the most expensive. i see.

taxpayer: when will the a6 be dualled?

tavish scott: this strategy will make sure that over the next 20 years and beyond we strive for a world class transport system that meets the needs of passengers, businesses and the environment. say what now? what does that mean? how are to belive this is not a wish list of future aspirations and lacks the real level of detail needed.

read all the evidence for yourself. these are the same people who give out ipods to anyone who completes a survey!!! ffs. i wasted time out of my life to read a document that says nothing real. if you guys pick up on substance that i missed please let me know what it is.

update: 2314 hrs. forgot to rant about the fact that decreasing carbon emissions in a country a mere 5 million small is not, even in a hippies wildest dreams, going to do anything about the overall effect a planet with billions of people polluting has on this third rock from the sun. making scots drive less will not compete against the chinese car market. how? seriously how? taxing the poor so you sound like a goodie two shoes tavish - you prick. go home and don't sully our wallets with your bizarre, ill conceived and detail-less proposals....

suggestions in the comments

celtic horoscope baby!

You Are A Hazelnut Tree

You're a charmer with a killer sense of humor.You are very demanding, but you can also be very understanding.No matter what, you always make a lasting impression - you're quite popular.Passionate, you are an active fighter for social causes and politics.In general, you are moody, honest, a perfectionist, and very sexual.

What's" Your Celtic Horoscope?

let the Y campaign team know what wierd shubbery those crazy celts think you are in the comments section.