Wednesday, January 31, 2007

i wonder which list we are on...

there is much talk of nhs waiting lists and there is much talk of hospital targets. tories criticise whilst nulabour tell us we've never had it so good.

pleased then, back in august, when 'er indoors took a turn that the ambulance managed to find us on a country lane in the middle of fifeshire in under 15 minutes from the phone call. even more impressed by the speed at which she was diagnosed, treated as asked if she wanted to stay the night or go home to rest.

not so pleased that it took until december to see a consultant and find about the treatment the doctors' believe is best. not overly impressed to discover her gp was not notified for over a month.

pleased that within weeks of seeing a consultant in december an appointment was made for mid january to have the mri and cat scans.

not at all pleased with the sight of edinburgh's western general hospital. a dirty concrete mess with narrow walls and no floor. okay, they had a floor, from the entrance we went in all the way to the neurological department in fact. but it had no lino. it had been removed. what was left was the green sticky material they use to affix said lino to the floorboards. patches of this green sticky stuff had worn off allowing pools of water to accumulate after the cleaners had wiped the floor.

certainly not pleased to see an elderly man in a bed, in the corrider of sticky green floor without a medical atendee, and only a few yards away from a cleaning cupboard where the orderly had absent mindedly left a bucket of dirty swill by the doorway. i had thought about taking a picture but then it occured to me that his indignatoin was great enough without some whippersnapper taking photos.

not pleased to discover that it was not for the mri and/cat cat scan we were summoned - its seems we are not on that list yet. in fact, we had waited two months, not for futher examinations, but to see a counsellor who said things like "it's more common than people think" "you shouldn't feel worried" "you can talk to me". we didn't stay long. we in that room less than we were in the waiting room. it seems we discovered yet another layer of beaucracy in the nhs.

said counsellor promised she would place 'er indoors on the list for a scan and would get back to us that day. that day was yesterday and we still have not heard from them. it seems we are on a waiting list to receive a phone call.

so which waiting list are we one. we are clearly on one; but is it to have a scan, receive a phone call, to see another waste of time counsellor or to get the prescription. 6 months later and still no prescription (which we're told will be a form of steroids, quality).

when someone suffers an epileptic fit they are band from driving for one year. at this rate 'er indoors will be legally allowed to drive again before the nhs finally declare her, legally, as an epileptic.

nulabour can say what they want. users of the nhs know it is a total shambles. if they don't believe me speak to 'er indoors, who is danish. and the danes know what a world class health system looks like. best i don't repeat her verdict on all this...

if newcastle is remote then what do they think about scotland?

a late start to posting today as i've spent all morning in hospital, on the operating table, having my spleen stapled back together by a nice chap called dr. slaughter who has a glass eye and longer hair than a horse's mane. it was a long operation - twelvty hours long in fact - as my spleen burst into a shower of blood raining down on the risograph machine like monsoon season in asia. it burst like a pin pricked balloon because i read curly's corner shop's first post for today where he highlighted the reason for newcastle not winning the super casino license as the london labour government feel that newcastle is isolated and "remote". read the full story here.

The Government's independent casino advisory panel said Newcastle's proposal was
"sound" but they cited the city's "relative remoteness" and "limited catchment
area" as weaknesses.

i'm clearly too thick to understand this so i need some help here.

what is newcastle remote from - the couple of millions of people who live within an hour's drive?

how is remote-ness a factor in the success of super casino's? sure the desert that las vegas is in makes it sooo close to everywhere else in america but that doesn't mean the several million who live within a two hour's drive of newcastle will have to cross a desert... does it?

there are three cabinet mps from the north east - are they thus remote mps now?

and if newcastle is remote then what the hell do this lot think of scotland?

if nulabour have not lost the polt they i seriously have to question whether they had the polt to begin with...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

this weeks top motor

i appear to have a modicum of return visitors - google analytics anyone? - so have decided to make this blog/rant/waste of internet space less passive. one of my interests is cars thanx to a dieting norn iron pal and top gear. on the top right i have added a picture of an audi rs4 which is one of my favourite motors and have invited readers to suggest a car for next week's blurb.

there is nothing to this other than my wanting to share a hobby with those few dozen readers who actualy bother to read this page. at the moment a ford is going up for next week as the tory hippy made a request; please for the love of what ever god you believe in send alternative options so i can avoid advertising a ford! for the sake of it i will add a post about each car noted - if you provide a reason why you want a car up i will use that otherwise google will be employed.

now the science bit over, the fun bit begins...

audi rs4 because...

the basic quattro model comes with a 6 speed, 420 bhp engine for just over £50,000. thats half the power of a bugati veron for 1/20 the price! and its petrol - so good for the environment ;-) as you bomb round edinburgh in second gear...

it looks good too. not the nicest on the market - db9 anyone? - but great on the eye.

the two types of audi i have driven (80 and a3) have thus in common: drive comfort, odd features designed well - such as arm rests - and clever shell features. by this i mean in both you know where the front is and the back ends which is handy for parking.

the 12 yr old 80 had more features despite being a basic model than my old 10 yr escort and 11 yr old fiesta. i will not mention the clio... the 4yr old a3 (again basic model) packs more basics than a 1 yr old toyota avensis basic. thus you get more for your money.
speaking of money - audi's cost just enough to stop them being common. the most popular audi in britain is the a4 with 18% of audi sales being a varient of this model. audi's market share is small at best. and by common i mean this - we used to talk of 'mondeo man' but now the most bought saloon in the uk is the 3 series bmw. audi build cars a little better than bmw do, but their quality is just enough to make them unique, and noticeable on the street. as opposed to generic.

what car should i rant about next and why?

email me at:

boardman [dot] r [at] btinternet [dot] com

raf cut by over 40%, the navy by over 25%

earlier the campaign highlighted how bliar had promised stability for our armed forces then proceeded to declare war more times than any british prime minister since days of empire (read here) as well as pointing out that one museum has more aircraft than our amred forces has attack craft (read here) and today, for those who care, comes proof of the massive cuts nulabour have made to our entire armed forces.

tony bliar, the daily telegraph, february 1997:
"the people who have had to bear the burden of these cuts are our servicemen and
women, overstretched and under strength as never before. the strain on our armed
forces is huge."

army - 101, 360
navy - 3 aircraft carriers
12 destroyers
23 frigates
raf - 16 offensive squadrons
6 defence squadrons
13 transport squadrons


army - down 1,900 (-1.8%)
navy - down 1 aircraft carrier (-33%)
down 4 destroyers (-25%)
down 6 frigates (-26%)
raf - down 5 offensive squadrons (-31.25%)
down 3 defence squadrons (-50%)
down 5 transport squadrons (-38.5%)

across the board thats a 29.36% cut..!!

the pope is jewish, jade goodey a rolemodel and nulabour have not screwed our armed forces over...

source: hansard via a Y campaign informant...

Monday, January 29, 2007

so that's a no to england being treated as an equal

the scots have st andrews day, the welsh st davids and norn iron st patricks; but england are not to get to celebrate our national day. expect some stories in april of councils pulling to the plug on st georges day and in may, for union day.

i got this email from 10 downing street after i signed an e-petition:
The Government receives a variety of suggestions for new or different Bank
Holidays and celebrations. Whilst the Government is pleased that so many
people are interested, as you can imagine it is not possible to please everyone
as to who or what should be celebrated. Unlike Northern Ireland, where St
Patrick's Day is a bank holiday, bank and public holidays in Great Britain do
not, by tradition commemorate particular individuals, events, or institutions,
other than those associated with Christmas and Easter. Moreover, many
individuals and communities in England already celebrate St George's Day in a
way they consider more suitable. The present pattern of bank holidays in
the United Kingdom is well established and accepted, and the Government has no
current plans to change the arrangements.

nothing like mocking the french

I AM THE SNOOTY WAITER! Which French Stereotype Are You?

grand theft tory

some times you just wish his stories were true!

10 years on and another lie exposed...

tony bliar in 1997:

"my pledge to our armed forces is that we will offer a period of stability. a new labour governement will be committed to maintaining strong and modern forces designed for the world we now live in."

the daily telegraph, february 1997.

the reality is not stability but increased operational committments...

bosnia - 1992 - still ongoing

operation desert fox (iraq) - 1998

kosovo - 1999 - still ongoing

sierra leone - 2000 - still ongoing

afghanistan - 2001 - still ongoing

operation talic (iraq) - 2003 - still ongoing

this isn't just tony bliar's fault; even though he made the promise in 1997 and loves to play war lord and act big in the white house, blame should be attributed to a decade of mis-guided foriegn secretaries. if only they all had the conviction and integrity of robin cook (mostly a mis-guided w**k but at least he stood firm in his convictions). one day a promise to stabilise our military, the next they declare war more times than any government since the days of empire...

hat-tip to the fellow Y campaigner informant...

Sunday, January 28, 2007

more aircraft in a museum than our armed forces

this should perhaps be in a special 'britain - our doors are open' section.

there are more aircraft in one museum than britain has attack aricraft to defend herself.

With the entire collection holding over 200 aircraft at the raf museum in london.

whilst britain only has 212 attack aircraft: this includes 139 strike force and offensive support craft and 73 helicopters with attack capability (33 x puma hc1, 22 x merlin hc3, 18 x hawk ta1).

furthermore; if you read the second article to bottom you will notice that britain has more training aircraft (235) than it does aircraft to defend itself.

britain is now ranked 10th in the world when expenditure and capability are measured. i can understand why we are ranked behind china, the u.s., japan and india. but why the hell are we behind brazil and turkey?!!? worse; we have less frontline personnel than indonesia (316,000), thailand (314,000) and mexico (192,770) - we have 190,000.

i'll avoid the politics about how labour's many strategic defence reviews have continually cut back our military strength to the point that brazil could invade us and thailand can out-fight us. labour supporters should be ashamed of themselves.

update 29 jan 07: the following link was left in the comments section but wouldn't hyper-link - it's utterly of a different position to mine...

Thursday, January 25, 2007

i leave for 5 minutes and look what mess they create

i'm not the first - actually i'm probably the last - to pick up on this cracking story that suggests the scottish parliament elections in may are illegal and should not be held, because prisoners aren't allowed to vote...

what i haven't noticed yet is anyone with a similar gut response to myself - hmm, maybe this is a hint - which is so what? big deal.

i thought the idea of prison was that custodial sentences' are a form of punishment. you commit a crime and get punished; that is how things used to be. now, thanks to our beloved leaders our prisoners get sky tv (some law abiding citizens can't afford this luxury) and have more free phone calls than soliders serving in iraq (so we expect them to get shot at but not to want to phone home?!?). prison has lost it's purpose, which probably helps explains why john read only wants the most dangerous locked up.

actually, no one seemed to have my response to that either. only the most dangerous, doesn't that mean just plain old dangerous are set free?

anyhu, may's elections aren't going to happen now. yay, mconnell's dream come true.

Monday, January 22, 2007

like a ptarmigan broadcast in reverse

a naff joke there for anyone who has also served in her maj's army as well.

for many reasons transmission has been null and will continue to be so as i move from the great city of edinburgh back to the even greater area of northern england where i believe bt will bugger around until they bother to connect me up to broadband like i've paid for.

what is there to miss about this city then? friends? some i knew before i arrived some i made here (the hippy clearly needs a special mention - how many lib dem voting, tree festival goers would take on a job with a bunch of tories and stand tall in her convictions? i thought i was brave just by being a tory growing up in bliar's constituency. take a bow hippy.) the night life; actually this is quite seedy, especially around anywhere with the word 'market' in it's name but there is the stand comedy club and sportsters bar for the football which are worth a visit. i didn't think much of the supposed walks around morningside and arthur's seat; anoyone else who has lived in fife and been on the east neuk walks will know why. the greatest thing about the place is the feel, the vibrancy and the welcome attitude that pervades the streets, the bars and attractions. how many nationalities and members of differing cultures live in affluent peace here? so many things make edinburgh a fun place to live in which is why i will never understand how anyone living here can want independance; so much will be lost not to mention the openess that gives the auld town so much of its charm. alas, that is no longer my battle.

my battle lies south, where real narrow minded people live in a kind of poverty beaten only by glasgow's worst areas and any iraqi market town. where many of my peers aspire only not to be caught by the benefit fraud officers or that they can avoid yeilding children before they themselves hit maturity. a wholly different social disorder awaits, one step at a time eh? could really do with the hippy there to remind me that not everything is the fault of wollen jumper wearing tree hugging eco facists... but then we all need to learn a new trick don't we? maybe scotland will learn that it is one country of several benefiting from a political union and maybe i will learn to embrace liberal conservatism more.

now to pack this computer away, with the rest of the boxes, into the run down ford escort i've recently become the proud owner off, and attempt - for the first time ever, and probably last - to drive through edinburgh without getting utterly lost at some point.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

more computer problems

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left avirus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this productsoon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use upall my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus andCleanhouse2005. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically storedinWife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to myAudi RS4 hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

the scottish gaelic centre, berkley street, glasgow

an amazing place really. today i met a child, surely no older than 6 or 7 years old, who spoke to me in 5 languages. inspiring.

was set up by a psuedo family business. awe inspiring.

is the first of it's kind in scotland. bold.

is situated in an old, abandoned secondary school. capitalist.

educates children from primary level, through secondary, to scottish higher levels. children identified as having 'behavourial' issues are quickly identified and treat by the same teachers throughout their entire school life. sensible.

produces socially confident pupils; as a st andrews grad i find this a vitally important 'life' tool. important.

there was a sign in one corridor which was designed by one of the pupils. the child wrote a passage in gaelic at the top above two crayoned drawings of people. the person on the left had a speech bubble in which something in gaelic was written. a large green tick was scrawled next this image. on the right was a person with 'good morning' written in the speech bubble. a large red cross was scrawled next to this image. english is clse to outlawed in this school. worryingly interesting.

the school had no none scottish ethnic pupils and despite having "a few interested inquiries from other types" the school is utterly scottish lead. plain worrying.

the school produces great pupils with top quality skills. but it is also an snp wet dream; scots who care nothing for our common language or multicultarism.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

and they got shat on from a very high height

as a boro fan watching this, i took great pleasure. screw the geordies.

the falkirk wheel

operates 450 boats travelling along the central belt canals, with around 1,200 transients from places like norway, sweden and eastern england.

around 45 - 47% of visitors are from england, with the scots comprising around 40% of visitors.

within 1 and a half hours drive there are close to 3.5 million potential visitors.

the centre makes close to £500,000 a year from the visitor shop sales, in total around £1.8 million is made. it costs almost this much to operate.

christmas 2006 saw 2,000 visitors in one day attend their festive celebrations; including music, santa's grotto and all the trimmings, fireworks etc.

when on the wheel you are sat in a boat, which is floating on water whilst rotating 180 degrees. i am told it's an amazing experience. the centre closes for three weeks a year for maintenance. it was closed today.

the centre is the symbolic centre of the british waterways (scotland) who are working to restore the scottish canals into a tourist destination enjoyed by communities; instead of the dregs where rubbish is dumped and children drown.

british waterways (scotland) falls under the westminster department defra, but is wholly financed by the scottish executive's transport department. one is the department of the environment and rural affairs and the other controls the motorways. it has two masters and two aims. one master wants them to increase timber freights and eliviate the motorways, the other wants environmental renewal and a top quality tourist destination bringing inward investment to help the struggling economy.

this is one of scotland's top five tourist destinations (other four being stirling castle, edinburgh castle, glasgow's science centre, and my bed) and was born through political will and high finance but is in danger of being stunted by joined up government. labour's executive needs to start talking to labour's westminster government.

it's amazing what you learn when touring with visiting mps and it's a shame a great project is endangered by a swelling state and bloated government.

labour have had a good idea here, but they are implementing it badly.

the problem with computers

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed adistinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such asRomance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate ------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works asdesigned, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 todefault to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly. CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memoryand cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally would recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support ------------------

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

so close to humiliation

tonite the finest team in football scraped through to the next round of the f.a. cup after holding back what appears to be an excellent display by hull city. the boro were 3 nil up and managed to just scrap through 4-3. 6 goals scored in 20 minutes, i've never heard of such a pandemonium. the boro now face bristol city who - i am very sure - will be buoyed by such a display.

well done to someone called seb hines - who i have never heard of in my life - for scoring on his debut and to mark viduka for his brace. mark needs to stay, janet needs to persuade him and i'm raising money to persuade her to sleep with him for this just cause.

the most annoying person on television

has to be gillian mckeith, presenter of you are what you eat. she is patronising and rude.

in tonite's eposide she forced a grown man to say goodbye to food; actually made him openly say "goodbye" to a table of tasty snacks and so on. patronising.

she also called him ignorant for not realising the parts of an animal that go into cheap sausages and other meat products. erm; pig snouts are still edible and clearly not dangerous/poisonous. she clearly has never heard of the phrase "just because i want a burger doesn't mean i want to meet the cow". rude.

she even said to him "know what you've been told".

still, one has to admire the way she is ruthlessly marketing all this health fad bollocks, corking capitalism gillian.

p.s. i know i buy into the whole 'if you don't like it, don't watch it' theory - hint to all those feckers who want to ban what they don't like - but 'er indoors is very persuasive; something about no fry-ups...

and they watched big brother whilst the country crumbled

i'm curious, if you can be bothered, mention in the comments which you think is worse from the below list - all taken from today's news headlines.

the economy is fucked, and getting worse.

UK inflation jumped to an 11-year high of 3% in December, raising the prospect of more interest rate increases.

yet more prisoners abscond, this is now a weekly occurance. when will they realise prison works?

Another terror suspect on a control order has absconded, Home Secretary John Reid has revealed in a written statement to MPs.

those in charge can't even count; that or they're out right liers.

Scottish Executive economists have admitted that the level of public spending may have been over-estimated by more than £400m.

in one week over 1,000 people have lost their jobs.

Cash machine manufacturer NCR has announced plans to cut 650 jobs at its plant in Dundee.


Six of Music Zone's Scottish stores have closed after the CD and DVD retailer went into administration... with a loss of 325 jobs across the country.

they ban smoking for us but fag away to their hearts content.

The leader of one of Scotland's largest councils was last night forced to apologise after being caught smoking in his office. Jim McCabe, the Labour boss of North Lanarkshire, repeatedly lit up in an interview with a reporter despite having local responsibility for enforcing the smoking ban... North Lanarkshire said he would not be fined as it was not its practice to fine individual smokers - instead it focused on premises which allowed it... Since March, when the ban came into effect, anyone smoking in an enclosed space has been liable to a fixed fine of £50 per offence, while owners of premises which allow smoking can be fined £200.

and what are our elected leaders talking about? yep, big brother.

A row over remarks made to Celebrity Big Brother's Shilpa Shetty will be raised in Parliament after thousands of viewers complained to the TV watchdog.

and the government wonder why they're hated so much...

Monday, January 15, 2007

if labour truly are pro union then they'll prove it

if they are then they'll join with the conservatives and sign up to david mundell's early day motion (edm) to celebrate the union of england and scotland this year, on may 1st 2007 - 300 years after the act of union. mundell said:

“I am urging MPs from all parties, but particularly the Labour Party, to sign my EDM. On the Union, as with their record over the past 10 years, Gordon Brown and Labour will be judged by actions, not words.”

now let us see, will labour celebrate or will they prove that they are pro-indenpendance?

on a lighter note

after discovering that someone who wants to govern me wants to ban me from using the internet i started browsing it - whilst i still can - and discovered that the danish conservative minister for economic and business affairs has a funny name.

he is called bendt bendtsen, pronounced in the infantile way that makes me giggle.

p.s. i think i have linked to a relevant page, but my danish aint the best.

labour want to ban tories from using the internet

after yesterday's rant about the lies spun by labour agents i have been overjoyed to find that the story continues; my comment was never posted by dear kez, but i did have a whole paragraph devoted to me in a new post which is - none surprisingly - repeated below...

a staunch Tory has discovered me.

flattery gets you everywhere kez...

This fellow blogger emailed me to suggest that the comments I had made in the article 'Darling, Vote Labour' about the cliched stereotypes of Lib Dem and Conservative party activists were quite unfair and that I was a liar to suggest that tories might put their business heads to good use by setting up leaflet delivery companies.

unfair, no. each blogger is entitled to an opinion so stereotypes are fair game. afterall, i stereotype labour politicians as having truth issues. does our intrepid kez fit the bill?

secondly, i called kez a liar for insinuating that the 13,000 scottish conservative activists do not work during the elections opting instead to franchise out the delivering and canvassing and so on. again, i have never heard of an association being rich enough and call upon the so called learned labour lady to prove her statement. conservatvie activists work as hard as any party's activists and i have never known anyone to insist that one party has harder working activists than others. astonishingly arrogant...

Concerned that I'd offended, I decided to look at his own blog to find a way of contacting him, only to find an article describing me as his 'new toy' - quite inappropriate and all in all a little unpleasant from a former scottish parliament employee. I then looked through the rest of his posts and found myself disgusted by the offensive language used. Needless to say i wont be replying or visiting his
page again.

no contact details to avoid spammers and junk mail etc, just like most blogs. at the moment there is no comment moderation to this blog so anyone can freely comment/debate and so on to any post.

if kez doesn't like her lies being referred to as a toy then the campaign apologises. from now on the term toy will be replaced with the term 'blog of lies'.

i have never worked for the scottish parliament, ever. another case of labour making statements based on falsehoods? wmd's anyone?

offensive language? wtf? as i type season 5 of still game is on the tele (dvd) and in episode 3 'smoke on the water' the words 'dick' and 'shite' are used, not to mention the frequent use of the words 'prick' and 'bastard' throughout nearly every episode. this is prime time television!!! will, then, the aspiring politican who is on the regional rankings list like to say if she finds still game offensive and if the language should be cleared up. in this blog one will find colin fox referred to as a prick, bliar a cunt and the faslane protesting politicians as shiftless bastards. considering in episode 4 season 5 'hard nuts' victor just said "that cockney wanker" about one minute before saying "real people, real shite" i thus call on someone who wants to govern me to outline how i am more offensive that prime time bbc2 television. update: navid just said "arsehole" whilst in the bathroom.

by not replying kez actually means not posting my comments or questions, that's censorship. speaking of censorship, here is a comment kez has published on her blog:

Ah all human life is to be found in the blogosphere and until we can find a way
of banning the tories from the web quite a bit of low life to boot ;-)

banning the tories from the web is now being promoted by the labour candidate kez dugdale, number 4 on the labour lothian regional list. you heard it here first.

i have, once again, asked kez for a comment. afterall, she wants to govern me so i want her to explain how i am more offensive that prime time bbc 2 television. to justify her belief that conservative activists do not work and for her opinions on internet censorship. update tomorrow.

nb: still game episode 'hard nuts' is full of naughty words. for those of a sensitive disposition i strongly advise you do not watch.
my comment on prospective msp kez dugdale's blog is pasted below.

you are on the lothian regional list and therefore want to govern me.
as a constituent i have a few questions.
i would like an explanation of how you find me more offensive that prime time bbc 2 television. to justify your belief that conservative activists do not work and for your opinions on internet censorship. again, i would like to inquire which seat you are contesting.
knowing that you do not wish to visit my blog any more i have provided a permalink to the relevant blog, where i have explained my position and opinion. the link is:
Y is a vowel.

oh dear...

his face is just pure comedy value

Stupid - video powered by Metacafe

Sunday, January 14, 2007

has the Y campaign found a little toy?

dandering around the t'interweb today i came across a new blog - i know, a newer blog than this - by a member of the labour faithful for edinburgh. now, overlooking the mere fact that she thus works for sarah boyack msp for edinburgh central and i briefly worked for the scottish conservative candidate of that area, jamie sempill, i found the site an amusing read due to it's lazy lies and spin. well, it is labour after all.

the blog is by kezia dugdale's, or kez for short - one of those rare and nice names, methinks...

on the 12th of this month dear kez alluded to her involvement in alistair darling's 2005 election campaign and her current involvement as agent for sarah boyack for may this year:

Attempting to co-ordinate a city wide campaign on top of a full time job is exhausting.

i do not doubt her one bit; attempting to co-ordinate a city wide campaign as one's only job can be exhausting. but then poor kez could not help herself, the labour lies oozed:

In my experience, the Lib Dems have pensioners and academics devoting their spare time, Labour campaigners are the workers and the tories set up businesses to do it for them! Says it all really.

i have posted on her blog challenging this stupendous bullshit and asked her to cite her source - failing this as most labour politicians find truth telling a complex and arduous task i have asked to justify this. i don't doubt the lib dems have pensioners and academics devoting their spare time - i have meet many. i have also meet many working class lib dem members as well as very wealthy ones. the same too is true for the scottish conservatives and the conservatives in the north of england where i have volunteered; pensioners, academics, working class and wealthy classed people and others form all walks of life all pounding the streets delivering and canvassing. i have never come across an association being rich enough to set up a business to do it for them. this is complete bollocks and kez clearly is either a) a liar b) making this up based on dodgy dossier style evidence c) a liar d) knowingly mis-representing something very innocent. i have asked her to beguile us of which.

it seems the campaign has found a little toy to play with; not only does she appear to have around the same (or perhaps a little more it's hard to tell just yet) political experience as myself but she is also working in a constituency i have unfortunately left. she has also built her website on the same platform i use to build websites for scottish conservative candidates - moonfruit. copying the tories is a nulabour trait. the permalink to her lies here. the link to her website here.

her blog has been added to the links on the right so we can all keep a close eye on this agent for sarah boyack and a list candidate for the lothian region (i have also asked which seat she is standing for as i have missed it where ever she has advertised this).

nb - kez has comment checker on her blog so i will provide a link to my comment's and her response - if any - once she posts them - that is of course presuming she even does. we know how much nulabour dislike engaging in the truth...

crime: free to roam until the next conservative government

not fit for purpose is the famous phrase we all know; john reid is a name we all know since he delivered that famous quote. so after promising to sort out the mess we were treated to a laurel and hardy style barrage of headlines involving the home office not knowing how many gazillions of immigrants are here, illegal immigrants working for the home office and so on until the recent fiasco of britons commiting crimes aborad and not having this recorded over here - mother beeb has disclosed that some have gone on to commit crimes here too.

and so the home office's response (i.e. as directed by their labour paymasters) is to reduce the number of front line police officers... yep, at a time when crime is on the up and the number of police officer's are going down. because that smacks of competence, doesn't it?

is the home office actually open for business or is it now closed, not fit for purpose and not competent to operate?

the last time the conservatives were in power they also reduced the number of police numbers - but then that was because crime had fallen somewhat on account of prison working - oh, prison. now there's another fiasco of labour that hit the headlines recently...

most leaders would be happy with 69% of the vote

and would consider over two thirds support combined with a packed rally in his name to be an achieve and a testament that they were a popular leader of the party. so spare a thought then for nicolas sarkozy the french centre-right leader of the ump party - the party initially set up to get chirac re-elected. at a rally in which the french prime minister, de villepin, even turned up to offer support to sarkozy who was given the official nod to lead the party into the french presidential elections.

the problem for nic sarkozy is the simple fact that he was the only candidate. up to 327,000 ump members could vote as sarkozy stood unchallenged and 69% duly voted for him; presumably the rest went for r.o.n. (re open nominations for those who didn't attend st andrews). nic then, got the nod, but understandably looked surprised when the results were announced.

to make it worse, chirac didn't turn up and de villpin may have made a brief appearance but didn't verbally utter support nor did he hang around for sarkozy's speech. it seems that france is not ready to join the centre-right wave sweeping europe from denmark and sweden down.

source - oddly at the time of writing no other t'interweb sites have the story...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

so who wants to lend me £61,000..? i can buy an overly priced super machine also refered to as the audi rs4 - with selectively choosen optional extras (all of them of course). rate 'my audi' here...

or if you're feeling like a cheap skate money grubbing so and so then how about four hundred quid so i can wreck the second generation tt down at silverstone...

go on, you know you want to donate to this worthy fund...

the future looks bright for tesco

another amusing youtube edit...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

are the uefa cup hero's really so dull this season?

last season the best team in football reached the uefa cup final after dramatic and memorable quarter and semi finalists (though i must note i were too pished to remember very much) and a very respectable display in the league. now, under gareth southgate the team seem to be so poor that attendances are dwindling dramatically. click here to buy tickets, there was a day when you could barely get tickets to the riverside.

what to make of this? victorious over chelsea, drawing to hull. drawing with arsenal defeat to man city, draw with liverpool and defeat to watford. maybe not knowing whether we'll be throwing tickets at the manager or dancing with seville fans is the reason locals don't want to spend the money every week. does that make boro fans fickle?

killer serving life may be out in 2009...

i vented a spleen in an earlier post about the guilty seemingly having more rights than the victims so i will avoid all rants on the fact that someone sentenced to life in 1995 will be allowed out after 15 years - or 2009 at the earliest. to punctuate matters further the bastard in question is taking the government to the european court of the wimsy and caprice to grant him ivf treatment with his new wife (whom he met whilst in jail) so he can create 'mini me's'. he doesn't seem happy with the fact he ws turned down once by the same court last april! man does he hate the law.

he hates the law so much he is arguing that preventing him this treatment is a violation of the right to 'marry and found a family' and the right to 'respect for private life'. oblivious to his victim's 'right to life' of course! how about society's right not to have murdering bastards prowling the streets when they should be locked up? oh yeah i forgot, soiety is the victim therefore their rights don't count...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

that fucked up cuntwad arse-prick!

well i had to insult him somehow - the prick - i mean, i take pleasure in his misery, joy in his embarassment. i am not ashamed to admit i've been known to watch re-runs of cameron and hague linguistically kicking his invertebrae arse around the house at pmq's (fyi - there's a great group on facebook dedicated to this) and so it is with great pain for me to admit when i agree with something he says. those days are rare, admittedly, even rarer are days like today when i find myself actually thinking 'well said, well said'. and so it is one of those days... that... i... praise... tony bliar...

the story: the moral lepor takes his holidays for free at the curtesy of famous rock stars and potter around like a film star - very statesman like. on his arrival back today he came under fire for taking a 'long haul' holiday whilst driving around his so called 'gas guzzlers'. don't you just love the tree-hugging-environmentalist-fuckwits-who-think-committing-a-crime-in-the-name-of-the-planet-is-something-to-be proud-of bastards!!!
bliar's response:

"I personally think these things are a bit impractical actually to expect
people to do that. I think that what we need to do is to look at how you
make air travel more energy efficient, how you develop the new fuels that will
allow us to burn less energy and emit less." He added: "You know, I'm still waiting for the first politician who's actually running for office who's going to come out and say it [that people should not fly] - and they're not.
"It's like telling people you shouldn't drive anywhere."
"But I'm not going to be in the situation of saying I'm not going to take
holidays abroad or use air-travel. It's just not practical".

well said, well said.

listen you tree hugging waste of fresh air pricks - britain contributes 2% of the world's carbon emissions, if we suddenly stop tomorrow then china will overtake that and more...
but bless, bliar has proved why i should not be ashamed of praising the prick:

No 10 later said Mr Blair would offset emissions from his holiday flights.

he's backing down! the prick is actually backing down! the gutless invertebrae. the sooner he is gone the sooner britons can go abroad and not be ashamed of our government...

Monday, January 08, 2007

go and read political crossroads... on fox hunting. i am not for hunting in the sense it boils my blood not to be able to straddle a horse and hunt - i have only ridden a horse twice and both with disastrous results. no, go and read the embodiment of the post, the reasons why one should dislike the ban in the first place:

The population of this country has rallied around the hunt in protest at such an unjust and illiberal law.

yes he's biased - but so are all bloggers. i should say that i disagree with his last two sentences though, i doubt very much a conservative government will repeal the ban. decisions are made by those in the room and governments should not pre-occupy themselves with changing the laws of the previous government, more with making better decisions when once in power. still, a clever post giving a better argument for opposing the ban than i could. read here. p.s. stole his pic too, oops...

political opportunists...

today a bunch of greens, ssp, snp and labour politicians are going to save the scottish people a few quid by not turning up to their job and instead they are going to band together and protest the renewal of the trident nuclear weapons system. together they march on faslane for, as colin fox msp (leader of ssp) claims;
"Whilst Tony Blair is intent on obtaining even more of these
weapons most people consider them obscene.
our intrepid and noble campaigners will spend all day today giving speeches before attempting to blockade the entrance to faslane. you can read more here, and im sure before work is over tonight there will be more links to this story.

the thing is you retarded hippies, i would have a bit of respect for you if this didn't look like a crass attempt to win a few votes - a case of political opportunism. you see, if you really give a hoot you would have added wait to yesterday's protest you feckless wankers. the catholic church along with academics and students from a plethora of nations protested yesterday. if you gave a damn you would have joined their number and lent weight to their protest. you've either decided to join today because you saw the potential media spotlight and realised an election is looming or you consider yourself too good and self important to march with unelected citizens. shiftless bastards.

oh and colin; what do you mean most people consider them obscene? not so, i think you will find most people are actually glad we defeated communism and can defend ourselves you prick.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

"snp mp's are fighting like ferrets in a sack"

quite funny analogy really; this quote came from a scottish labour spokesman, according to mother beeb, which is a shame as the spokesman should reveal himself and win an award or something.

in all seriousness; the media is so intent to make may's elections a fight between the two 'big men' of scottish politics - salmond and mcconnell - that everyone else is being squeezed out the debate. scottish political news outlines a strong anti-annabel goldie spiel in today's the sunday times which more-or-less suggests murdo fraser will be soon leading the party north of the border.

the issue is basically this; the media are only going to bother reporting on the spats between the gnats and labour leaving the scottish conservatives and the libs on the back burner. normally this form of piss poor journalism is something to get hot and bothered about but if both parties are going to entertain us with such gems as "fighting ferrets" then i'm not going to complain. keep it up.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

us army urges the dead to re-enlist

according to mother beeb anyway. apparently the yanks have been sending out letters to former soldiers urging them to consider re-joining the army - recruitment issues? - sent letters to 75 dead soldiers and over 200 inured soldiers...

cue jokes comparing their ability to aim with their ability to accurately record who died in iraq.

scotland; awash with political parties

t'other day a rich man decided to set up his own political party called scottish voice which will be pro-business and a little to the right of the political spectrum. most commentators seem to think this will hurt the scottish conservatives the most. the campaign didn't post on it as i was too busy getting pished and couldn't be bothered, but chameleon's on bicycles made a post arguing the gnats will be hurt the most. simply put, i disagree.

the chameleon's rely on 1950's election data which is simply too long ago to matter, indeed, the 1990's election data is probably too far away. the chameleon's also talk about perth being a former conservative seat currently controlled by the gnats as further evidence. simply put, they don't understand the situation in scotland.

perth is indeed snp controlled, but their incumbent roseanna cunninghame is only 1,000 or so votes in front of the conservative contender liz smith. if votes move away from the gnats to a third party then the small swing will still not be overcome by the conservatives, if scottish voice takes centre to centre right votes in perth then a very winnable seat will be lost!

small parties will be the bane of the scottish conservatives in may's elections. take alex ferguson msp over in dumfries and galloway there, he's conservative and won last time round by 99 votes only. thanx to this summer's entertaining implosion by the socialist's it's a real possibility that the ssp will not stand there in may and instead concentrate on shoring up their core support along in the clyde. the ssp took around 280 votes in d&g. that's 280 or so votes going back to labour are maybe even the gnats. either way they wont be heading to the conservatives. alex fergusson thus starts his re-election campaign in second place!

so thanx to small parties the scottish conservatives are realistically two seats down on what they might reasonably expect to obtain, and that's just the start of it.

it seems i need to re-learn the meaning of words...

a little fuss has developed after it emerged derbyshire police refused to issue photographs of two convicted murderers who are on the run. they claimed doing so would breach their human rights! well the lord chancellor appears to have brains as he overturned the decision and released the pictures - wanted posters which pictures, now there's a novel idea.

they seem nice chaps, actually. one stabbed a youth in the chest as he lay unconcious on the street whilst the other absconder dropped a slab of concrete on someone's head... they both got life in prison, or did they? i read the following in the times newspaper...

"[they] ...were near the end of life sentences for murder and had been given day release and allowed home visits."

how does one near the end of life sentences? by being close to death? seems not, it also seems that life does not mean life but a few years spent watching sky tv in a comfortable pad at her majesty's pleasure. i actually thought it was a mis-print so i checked with mother beeb.

Both men were approaching the end of life sentences for murder, given in 1996, and had been given day release and home visits before they absconded.

anyone else thinking this is stupid? am i not understanding the meaning of life sentence or something? it's a good job the government is taking abscontion seriously... actually, they're not. phil wheatley, the director general of the prison services, has just announuced that they have absolutely no idea how many people have absonded from jail.

juliet lyon, director of the prison reform trust, says that we shouldn't be "panicking" about abscontion, nor should we be "berating" the prison service and instead we should be "demanding" to know what the home secretary is doing about "reconviction" rates. what? reconviction rates? what the bloody hell does reconviction rates have to do with prisoner abscontion you stupid women? go away.

so we're not allowed to know what murderers look like and we're not allowed to complain that prisoners don't stay in prisons whilst life sentences' do not mean life! so much for labour's promise to be "tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime". and what has the home secretary said about all this? nothing, zilch, zero, bugger all. the man who once described the home office as being "not fit for purpose" has proved himself 'not fit to govern'. cup of tea anyone?
picture from

Thursday, January 04, 2007

let us start the new year with a quote from the great boris johnston

What, nothing? Not a peep, not a dickie bird? How long can Blair maintain radio silence? If some soap star had popped her clogs or some Newcastle striker had gone to the great subs bench in the sky, then you may be sure that the Number 10 machine would have chuntered out some tabloid-friendly quote.

This is the Prime Minister who once used an official statement to call for the release of "Deirdre" from her fictional Coronation Street jail -- and yet he won't give the nation the benefit of his views on the death of Saddam Hussein.

You will note that in the case of all the soap queens and pop stars whose deaths were marked by Downing Street, Blair had no personal knowledge of them, let alone responsibility for their deaths. In the case of Saddam Hussein, Blair was not only personally implicated, but for better or worse he has implicated the entire country...

...Was this what we fought for? Is this really the lesson in human rights and Western values we hoped to deliver to the people of Iraq? This wasn't justice. This was a sectarian lynch mob. This was a snuff movie.

How dare the Prime Minister pretend that it is somehow nothing to do with him? He was the only Western leader of any importance to join George W. Bush in the war to remove Saddam.

It was Blair who sent thousands of British troops to join the coalition, and Blair who authorised the spending of at least £5 billion on a war in Mesopotamia, and it was Blair who was therefore directly co-responsible for putting Saddam Hussein on the end of that rope....

...Or am I wrong? If so, please could the Prime Minister get a T-shirt on and get out of that Bee Gee mansion and just for 30 seconds could he do what he normally does with such practised ease almost every day.

Come on Tony, give us one of your sound bites. What is your reaction to the Saddam snuff movie? It was Tony Blair who persuaded so many of us that Iraq would be better off without Saddam. Can he give a single piece of evidence in support of that claim? ...

...If he can't articulate his thoughts -- our thoughts -- on the disgusting death of Saddam, then he has ceased to give leadership. His premiership is effectively over.

personally i don't care either way over madman insane's death, but i do find it interesting that bliar is very silent on the issue. that is until, erm, he backed a probe into the videos of the hanging. sorry bliar boy, but if you're going to use mediaeval forms of justice then you can't go about sanitising the politics. afterall, the point of public executions is that they're, erm, public.