Monday, April 23, 2007

delivering in the dales

i've given up driving down farm tracks to drop off leaflets - some of the buggers' measure in miles and can be annoying, rocky and bumpy. the escort lost its exhaust heat guard because of them.

and as for the dogs...

Monday, April 16, 2007

a little something

so work just too busy for me to have the time to blog, heres a remotely amusing youtube thing for anyone who is still popping over. later.

Monday, March 26, 2007

slow blogging weekend

work and all keeping idle thumbs busy, but ive changed the interactive stuff on the right there for some amusement. football fans will especially enjoy the sport bit.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

reality check

i really wanted to continue the unprovoked attack on scottish sporting failures that i'd started the other day with the egg chasing competition; i had even started on another daft picture taking the piss out of their embarassment in another english game, exported to the colonies, cricket.

but the murder of pakistans coach, and former england great, has taken the fun out of the sport and brought the realities of life back to the fore. sport is meant to be a laugh.

the spine sums it up with this image.

why not, its doing the rounds

Thursday, March 22, 2007

belgians mock fife constabulary

after reading exclusively here on the Y campaign about how fife police refused to chase down a stolen subaru impreza because it was carrying eggs, the belguim car manufactuers decided to poke some fun at their celtic brethren.

after collaring the crooks doing 12 mph over the forth road bridge
(have you tried going faster?) they dragged the stolen merchandise back to the low countries, melted down the loot and rebuilt the impreza.

hattip to total shambles.

police defend decision not to chase the egg (anymore)

commenting after photographs suggest that part of the £70,000 worth of stolen cadbury's easter eggs were seen been driven at high speed across st andrews famous old course, local police from the fife constabulary defended their decision not to give chase.

"ack, jiz becorse we has proof tha the eggs were bein' carried in the twoked subaru impreza along the famous st andrews bridge, does nae mean wi will act." said chief inspector pointless. "efter scotland's
pathetic showing in the six nations it is national policy te nae longer chase eggs in public. anyone wanting the neds caught shud wait until they make it te france, or ireland, ack, te anywhere else where people can actually chase eggs."

bbc scotlandshire has confirmed reports that the stolen impreza was seen driving in excess of 61 mph in a 60 zone along the a91, and would normarily receive 20 drving points. the hitherto unknown leader of the scottish liberal democrats promised firm action should someone actually vote for them in may's elections: "such high powered horse-less carraiges damage our precious things with their brooms brooms and desirable ability. we would protect our trees and stop these polar bear killers; if only we had people in the cabinet in holyrood!" bemoaned nicola something.

the eggs were stolen two days ago by three masterminds who spent hours trying to out-wit the delivery lorry driver, as lazily reported by the Y campaign

i doubt they will eat £70,000 worth of easter eggs...

there's something childishly amusing about the story of three plucky robbers who drove off with £70,000 worth of cadburys easter eggs.

it seems our daring triplets duped the delivery driver by telling him the lorry was shedding its load. when the driver jumped out to inspect his cargo the musketeers jumped in and drove off along with a subaru impreza gettaway car.

But they may end up eating the snacks themselves, as a Cadbury spokesman said
the eggs would be hard to sell.

reports the socialist beep... erm, does the beep really believe they are not going to find anyone in the whole of yorkshire who will buy easter eggs that almost fell off the back of the lorry? don't be stupid.

seemingly oblivious to the steaming stupidity of his own workforce (surely drivers spot stuff falling out of their lorry in their mirrors) a cadbury spokesman went right for the jugular with this crafty statement:

"The criminal fraternity are pretty thick,

not so think they can't do you out of £70,000.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Next year, the indications are that you will be £320.36 worse off.


just played with the budget calculater on the beep and am delightfully informed that gordon broon will be nicking an extra £320.36 in tax rises off me. this is before council tax rises are included.

here's the breakdown:

i'll loose an £156 in fuel duty but will be given a whole £5 back due to the escort not considered a bad polluter.

Fuel - this year 4802.16 - next year 4958.16 - difference £-156
Vehicle excise duty - this year 40 - next year 35 - difference £+5

the rest is made up from swindling from fags, booze and becuase i commit the heinous crime of flying. a few other increases all equate to the price of a season ticket at the boro.

cheers very much you fat bastard.

another prediction comes up trumps

yesterday the campaign predicted this for the budget:

i reckon the middle class will get hit with hidden (stealth) taxes whilst broon will raise the tax band for the poorest. i reckon income will rise by a few pence (probs one)

today mother beeb in all her socialist glory wrote:

Chancellor Gordon Brown announced a cut in the basic income tax rate from April 2008 in a surprise move at the end of what is likely to be his last Budget.

i should be on their payroll.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

some changes to note

on the right are added a few new things to play with. along with the usual 'motor of the week', which will now be a youtube of something that amuses me there are added a blogthing quiz and a sporting moment of the week. something interactive to pass a few minutes of the day with.

there's also an email to contact the campaign should the wish become overriding.

feel free to comment below with any comments, suggestions, questions and complaints.

a total shambles indeed

can i refer you to a blog that is not updated frequently, and involves more tourettes style posting than this campaign, for a moment? the blog is totalshambles.

the most recent post bemoans the inability of one student to climb the property ladder and strike out alone as an individual. it reads:

Judging by the TV guide tonight, I'm wishing I could afford my own place ( which I can't thanks to high student debt, low graduate salarys and runaway house prices thanks to that fucking cunt of a bastard (sorry, please excuse the language but I can't see why the people of Great Britain are obsessed with voting the dick back in) leader of the government; just so that I could get sky, cause theres fuck all on, and because of reasons outlined above, I do not have the disposable income to go out drinking tonight, despite the fact that this is St Patricks weekend (and to all NI folk obsessed with tribal sectarianism - St Patrick was not x or y, he was CHRISTIAN, in an attempt to spread christianity amongst the pagans of Ireland. This was before Henry VIII decided to fuck every girl in England...) .

oh yeah, and the blog is based in norn ireland.

so here's the thing. the thatcher government sold off council houses which gave people ownership and personnel wealth. this allowed for greater social mobility and let people move on and up. the bliar government has hit my age group with so much tax that it is simply unable to afford the same opportunities. tax reduces mobility and constrains peoples future plans. how can students with huge debts manage to get out of debt, onto the ladder and on with families and life if they're too busy paying off ridiculous student debts?

its a shame the conservatives no longer run on abolition of student debts. but then, we have done so for the last two elections and lost both times, so logic must override and a change in policy and attitude must prevail.

tomorrow is budget day. who fancies taking me on with this bet; i reckon the middle class will get hit with hidden (stealth) taxes whilst broon will raise the tax band for the poorest. i reckon income will rise by a few pence (probs one) which will bring relief to at least a million people. ironically, the way the tax system works it will also force as many out of benefits as it will more profitable to get jobs. a clever tactic if he does it. any takers?

Friday, March 16, 2007


of which there will be many over the next few days preventing the usual weekend glut of posts, come next week i'll have another tweak with the lay-out to prevent people thinking this is one of those political blogs that keeps up with developments and comments accordingly. also, i played about with the car of the week and replaced the pictures with youtube feeds, expect more random stuff like that.

vi ses.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

unlikley support for the Y campaign

as discovered by some recent commentators this is a right winged blog with a tongue in check campaign to relax the rigid nature of the english language and allow it to be used for what it was designed for; communication. why constrain our ability to communicate around accepted modes such as recieved pronunciation, split infinitives, glottal stops and the works? there is a difference between bad english and being unable to communicate effectively.

and so it is that Y village was inundated with one email highlighting national support for this campaign coming from demos, the left wing think tank reputedly behind much of tony bliars policy.

conundrum then; not good to be getting support from such unwelcome company. the solution; spin this into an issue that crosses the ideological divide of left and right, just like the support for the nhs. nifty.

support for the Y campaign has featured in the guardian - twice, the telegraph and the mail - though judging from the comments section perhaps not the mail's readership...

still, across ideologies.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

ex boro boss resigns from danish side odense

now how about that for a headline? capturing both the boro readers, okay reader, and the danish readers. and yet, there's a scottish element thrown in too. feel free to offer me a job 'the sun'.

bruce rioch has just resigned from the danish side odense. here.

bruce will be forever remembered as the manager to pull the boro through liquidation in 1986 - ever wondered why that year was on our badge? got this from wikipedia, yes i know...

He was appointed as manager of Middlesbrough in February 1986 and his first success in management came in 1987 when he guided Middlesbrough to runners-up spot in the Third Division and promotion to the Second Division at the end of a season which had started with them locked out of Ayresome Park by the official receiver and on the verge of bankruptcy. A year later they won a second successive promotion, this time as winners of the Second Division promotion/First Division relegation playoffs. However, Middlesbrough found it difficult to adjust to the pace of top flight football and spent all season fighting a relegation battle which was lost on the last day of the season. He was sacked the following March as the Teessiders hovered just above the Second Division drop zone.

and here's the scottish element; the auld boro boss beat tony mowbray's (an auld boro player come manager in europe) hibernian side 1 - 0 last july. here.

so there you go; i got to talk about sport, the boro, scottish teams, a danish side and link them altogether. where's the beer?

some chips to go with that panther burger

and if you manage to avoid getting mauled by the scary black panther whilst out on the hunt, and suceed in making your own bbq burgers in hysteria sauce, you can always wash it down with a bag of chips, peeled for you by an 'elderly getnleman'...

hmmm, lunch

that time of year again folks when the big, black cats are sighted around yorkshire. one of the 'small' things i missed about the area living in scotland is that panthers were never seen pottering about fifeshire.

the local newspaper reports:

A BLACK panther has been seen prowling a remote hillside in the Yorkshire Dales, according to reports. Day-tripper David Sykes said he saw the animal between Beckermonds and Deepdale, in Langstrothdale, between Hawes and Buckden, on Sunday.

according to the police this is not uncommon:

"There are several sightings every year in the county, but we have not yet found any concrete evidence."

so, tally-ho. i'm off to find the hounds and bag me a pather burger.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

would have thought they'd have targets for these things

it's now been 25 days since the scan and we are still awaiting the results. so that's; august for the attack, january for the first check up, february for the first scan and no results by january. the nhs is truely slow at getting things done.

what we have received though is letter from the counsellor... do you remember her?

january we saw her, march we get the letter she promised to send to the gp with us circulated in. it made for interested reading.

like holocaust denyers she accused us of not accepting the condition as epilepsy. i refer you to my previous posts and will let you work out if i'm in denial. she criticised us for choosing not to begin taking the medication (popping pills to stop the brian short-circuting basically). let's ingnore the maxim of 'patients choice' for a moment and have a look at the effects of taking the drugs. they increase the risk of giving birth to a disabled child and/or miscarraige etc from 2% to 4.7%, they are a confirmation that the attack was not a one off, but a likely recurrance. patient choice allows for not taking medication that will only help avoid (not prevent) seizures and since chances of a problematic birth are more than doubled the choice becomes a personnal one. having the condition confirmed invokes large life style changes. there's the obvious; banned from driving or operating most machinery. the quirky; informing the life-guard of your condition every you go for a swim. to the every day; look around you, if you were to have a seizure right now what could hurt you as you fall? the corner of the desk? need to buy those plastice covers. the pen holders? dont want one of those babies going in your eye on the way down do you? wants on the floor? happy lying on that to have a seizure? do you cook? will the oven burn your food and start a fire whilst you have a seizure? then don't cook that particular meal unless someone else is in the house.

you see, we're still waiting to find out if it was a one off or not. all the hospital want to do is send 'er indoors to see the counsellor. councsellor's keeping themselves in a job by refering everyone to each other. because yes, that was what the letter recommended, that she seek counselling to help come to terms with the 'condition'. oh, so she can confirm the condition but those who took the tests cannot? where's the damn test results then?


maybe it was a mistake to change the header sub-title from "this is not a political blog, but a blog by someone interested in politics" to "theres' no excuse for bad grammar".

for starters it caused confusion amongst some - bill cameron seemed to have some fun missing the point. but then, regular readers may have read that debate.

secondly; my traffic is now triple what it used to be. considering this is normally a personnal communication to friends and family i find that interesting. i note too that edinburgh has provided over 26% of the hits in the last week, normally this is less than 3%. maybe my earlier point was close to the mark...

and finally, there are peeps trying to tease me to on comment on issues relating to the party in scotland. yes, i may know one or two things but that does not mean i will comment on them. have a look around the layout of this blog; my flag is firmly planted in the conservative camp, so what makes anons. think i will respond to every suggestion is confusing. if you want a serious debate on the issues then read the bloglinks i have attached for scotland. i have chosen them because i believe they give an interesting - and often polarised - take on events.

if you have a blog, and make a comment, i will respond (even weneedachange) but anons will not get that same promise.

sorry, but this is not a political blog, but a blog by someone interested in politics. may i direct you to some blogs that are political?

i like mr j mc. and just follow his links for the rest.

Monday, March 12, 2007

a solution for our over crowded prision

this popped into my email inbox today, one of those doing the rounds. joe arpaio's campaign website here.

i'd vote for him, anyone else?

Why can't our leaders think like this . . .

Well, this is certainly an interesting take on what 'prison' is.. or should be.. gotta say.. he got my vote!! =0)


These are some of the reasons why: Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "tent city jail" to save
Arizona from spending tens of million of dollars on another expensive prison complex.

He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He banned smoking and porno magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but "G" movies.

He says: "they're in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave."

He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer's money.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel he replied: "so these morons will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs."

He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, "Thisisn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on
US history that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record for June 2nd), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed- wire-surrounded tent encampment at
the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were chatting in the tents , where temperatures reached 128 degrees.

"This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace," said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go."It's inhumane."Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches,is not one bit sympathetic. "Criminals should be punished for their crimes not live in luxury until it's time for parole, only to go out and
commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves."

Wednesday he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: "It's between 120F to 130F degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to walk all day in the sun, wearing full battle gear and get shot at, and they have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Way to go, Sheriff!

If all prisons were like yours there would be a lot less crime and we would not be in the current position of running out of prison spaces.

If you agree, pass this on. If not, just delete it.

Sheriff Joe was just re-elected Sheriff in
Maricopa County , Arizona

Sunday, March 11, 2007

sit down germany, the boro are the best in the world!

england is consistant in their inability to win penalty shoot-outs, i remember italia 90 all too vividly. for the scottish readers here's a youtube of englands last attempt to play put the little round ball in the big square goal.

watching the quarter final match against man utd yesterday - wondering if we would see another replay - when i got told this little nugget:

middlesbrough f.c. have won their last six penalty shoot-outs (two coming this season alone) making them the best in the world. coming second is germany with five straight wins. this would be official - if anyone actually cared...

there you go man u; beat us over 120 minutes or we'll beat you over 10 spot kicks.

Friday, March 09, 2007

gazumping the tories

never one to miss a trick, theo spark hoodwinks the scottish tories and releases his own manifesto; the left wing activist does not miss a beat as he calls for the return to full blooded communism:

To reduce the power of unelected assholes who spawn ridiculous legislation
purely to give themselves a sense of importance,

fed up with the governments law and order policy being 'tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime', theo calls for more rehab and counseling:

We bring back Hanging for Terrorists, serial killers, child killers and

and it seems the current government has not gone far enough with letting all the peado's out early, theo wants this speeded up:

Prison sentences must carry the full term, parole is a joke, hard labour and
'chain gangs' cannot be written off. Good behavior will be rewarded with access
to television, internet access and 'easy duties'.

in an attempt to woo the young, energetic commie from their tree-hugging festivals theo proposes a real constitutional shake-up:

The drinking age to be raised to 21. This should slow them down.

as with all commie's theo has chosen the isolationist foreign policy which will be followed by years of inward investment before establishing diplomatic ties across nations:

We have a duty to protect the population of our ex colonies, so Mugabe must be
taken out he is destabilising Southern Africa and must be assassinated at first

naturally hes a fan of the trade unions:

Their day is over.

and pro banks:

Credit card and overdraft rates to be pinned to 2% above Bank of England base
rate. Screw the Banks!

not to mention a strong supporter of increasing incapacity benefits for those, whom, life is just too tough:

When children reach 16 they will have 3 choices, stay at school for A levels, a
2 year apprenticeship with a company, or 2 years military service.

dont think im looking forward to the scottish conservative conference in perth as much anymore ;-)

Thursday, March 08, 2007

normal service resumes

no, i do not mean this blog - that sorry saga is several posts below - i mean toccionline has returned to being interactive.

the genius that brought us the clever i can't afford my gasoline (may need to hit replay) went silent on the video and game front for a while and i eventually forgot about him. the other day i got an exicted email alerting me to the new britney spiers game.

to waste time for 5 mins go and shave brits hair.

if you're new to toccionline check out his homepage and watch some videos; he may be a leftie but hes still clever and entertaining, and well worth a look.

do you think ill get a comment from the grammar nazi this time?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

news that the home office will text illegal immigrants is met with strong support

not stolen from the spine as someone accuses me off doing.

mr eugenides is also in support of the plan.

but the plans biggest support stems from theo with this, followed later by this - or was it the other way round?

lets have a fight

last nights valencia v inter football match followed the snarling cup and have a riot. my favourite bit is the sub who runs on, brakes a guys nose then runs away again. see if you can spot the coward...

candidate re-shuffle?

earlier i posted that jamie sempill had quit as candidate for edinburgh central. i got curious this morning and went to check if a replacement had been found, here.

it seems fiona houston is the new candidate. she was the candidate in livingston was she not? i'm assuming livingston is in lothian - and not central - and she'll have no problems with the rankings order? anyone know?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

the one thousand brake horse power crash!

a bugatti veron is wiped out by a vauxhall astra! utter genius!

clarkypoos: this car has power

astra driver: 'er, pass us me buckies big man!

hamster: this is a familiar feeling...

a bugatti veron, as this article also points out, is a fast and powerful fucker. with 1,000 bhp it can reach speeds of 250 miles an hour (or 67,000 kilometer thingies) and costs about as much daivd millibands hair. it can out run formula one cars, it can do 0 - 60 quicker than it will take you to reach this sentence. and it crashed doing 40 in surrey!

i'm not sure why this story amuses me so much...

it seems you can get arrested for wearing a red nose

Click here to find out how to avoid arrest on Red Nose Day

what a legend

jose mourinho can be annoyingly arrogant - especially when they beat boro and don't apologise - but sometimes he says the funniest things. when asked if he's worried about being sacked he responded:

"If the club decides to sack me because of bad results it's part of the game. I will be a millionaire and will get another club a couple of months later."

priceless. more here.

and for something lighter

the spine had an amusing take on the dodgy fuel down southern way.

theo spark has an interesting answer to a simple question.

i found another visually impressive blog.

and total shambolics doubles it's posting output in one day.

Monday, March 05, 2007

we may need a change, but we dont need you

there seems no end to the level of in-fighting some people in the conservative party will stoop too just because things are not exactly the way they want them. and if proof were needed that this happens in the scottish conserative party along comes an unhelpful, badly written and poorly argued blog out of edinburgh designed to create maximum damage so close to the elections.

the award for pointless petulance goes to the blog 'scottish tories are doomed' who presents a whole list of reasons why he doesn't like the scottish conservatives. the author claims to be a tory by the name of alan simpson, yet the comments in some of his threads cast doubt on this.

let us go through his weak arguments one by one.

in the most recent post entitled comment moderation the author responds to a comment with this little gem:

We currently have such a weak platform to stand upon as we fight this election but I do not see this changing until the manifesto is launched, I pity those that have to campaign for the party! [my emphasis]

that's just oxymoronic in the first order. of course the party is light on policy prior to a manifesto launch, that is the whole point of a manifes - to launch policy! secondly, we do have several policies out there, some announced as far back as last summer.

and here they are: Council tax cut in half for pensioners, '3 strikes and you're out' for repeat offenders, £100m towards drug rehabilitation, Saying no to the Lib-Lab Pact's road toll scheme, An eco-bonus scheme for homeowners.

my source? their website:

on another post amusingly entitled 'serious debate' the blog entertains us further with this gem which is meant to be a reason for the party suffering:

failure to invest in the future of the party - younger and hungrier candidates.

so once again i checked the party website and guess what i found - 5 under 35 year olds standing as parliamentary candidates. and here they are: peter lyburn, jamie johnston, john lamont, bob dalrymple, derek brownlee. 35 is chosen as that is the age of the reputed alan simpson in his profile. so that's a crop of candidates all younger than this waste of fresh air and one of them is already an msp! pratt... and now for the council candidates younger than he is... on this page alone he can find 10 candidates under 30 up for election in may 2007 - 2 are incumbants. again, what a pratt.

i seriously think this alan simpson failed in an application to be a candidate and is jealous of other people's success. he probably failed as he has the reasoning of a brain dead chipmunk.

now for some more oxymoronic reasoning by this pillock. on the same post as above 'serious debate' he he he posted this...

an overstaffed and underperforming central office which has repeatedly failed to
take responsibilty for repeated by-election failures

quickly followed by...

an aging membership which is too interested in coffee mornings and attending
long and boring meetings, and too reluctant to actually get out and
. [again, my emphasis]

so is he complaining that that our membership is too old or that our membership will not listen to the younger views of scco? this guy is too stupid to explain which, but his two points cancel each other out.

on the 23rd feb this alan simpson thing had a whack at murdo fraser because he seems to have a personnal difference with party policy. the funny thing is; alan the moron seems to miss the irony of his blog. his blog is a swipe at the party he disagrees with; yet complains when a politian shows the same conviction. what a dim witted 'ucker; are you a lib dem in disguise alan?

and once more to this man's crap ability to research his facts i bring you to a post from the 21st feb; evidently our lack of policies before a manifesto launch is a bad thing. a manifesto in his mind being something other than a policy launch!!!

and to conclude. this man, in his profile describes himself as "I am more of an old school type Conservative, none of this wet Cameron style Conservatism". out of interest would that be the old school conservatism that lost us the last 3 elections? you clearly enjoy living under a labour government because you don't seem willing to embrace the 21st century. your blog is nothing but ammo for the opposition, and as long as idiots like you put the boot in to score more readers on your blog this country will continue to suffer the malaise of a labour government.

if you are a conservative; shut up. if you actually like this country, shut up. such poor blogs feed the opposition. you are the opposition.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

have you ever seen them together?

well, have you? in the same room at the same time?

eviction update

the riots began two days ago. read more here. now watch the riots live below.

danish t.v. showing the eviction in progress. these are some pretty nasty and dangerous people the danes are attempting to remove. bbc report on the recent events here.

shopping trolley "terrifies" woman

in what has to be the daftest story of 2007 so far, i bring you the case of the woman "terrified" by a tesco trolley.

"I was terrified," she said. "I tried to swerve away from the trolley..."

the story goes that a gust of wind blow an errant trolley in the direction of julie dearrings shitreon c2 (pictured) and scrapped the paintwork. julie is now demanding 'several hundred pounds' in compensation for damages to the car and for distress!

Mrs Dearing was unhurt and managed to stay on the road - but was left shocked and upset by the incident. The car, which was bought less than a year ago, suffered a dented front wing which will cost several hundreds of pounds to fix.

what a pathetic moron. though i do like the reporter's writing style "...[the moron] managed to stay on the road" why will it cost so much to fix a dented front wing? is her car made of gold? are shitreon's so easy to brake?

i'm still confused as to why tesco should be liable for a) another customer not replacing the trolley in the trolley bay b) the wind being, well, windy. this is simply an acident, a pure by-chance event of the kind that happens in life everyday. this woman needs to grow up and except that she can't sue someone everytime she's not happry with what life throws at her.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

82 tax rises in 10 years

yep, labour are responsible for 82 tax rises in one decade. read more here.

so where's our integrated transport system then?

as the plans for road pricing hit the headlines within days of toni bliar so it would be "kamikazee" to do so; the campaign asks where is our integrated transport system?

all it takes is for one bad accident to close down 15 miles of the a1(m) motorway and north yorkshire turns into motorised pandamonium. thousands of cars spilled out into the surrounding villages which gridlocked most b- roads for a good hour or so. today it took me 4 and a half hours to travel what is normally a one hour drive to harrogate.

so here's the clincher; with road pricing my journey today - diverted through dozens of villages and two towns - would have cost me close to £32! £32 to travel 40 miles!!!
now that is value for money...

Friday, March 02, 2007

those crazy danes are at it again!

life's never dull over in denmark as they lurch from one burning issue to another (pardon the pun ;-). wasn't it around this time last year they got half the muslim world burning their flags and embassies down over a few cartoons?

then last month they attempted their own italian job with mazdas!

and this month they take on some scum left wing activists as they attempt toevict some trouble-making squatters from a youth centre. 217 rioters arrested in one night, with more rioters flooding in from germany, sweden, norway and austria. danish diplomatic missions abroad are even being atacked again. read mother beep's take here, then compare to the more sedate copenhagen post here.
Police in Denmark are braced for more violence after the eviction of squatters from a youth centre in the capital Copenhagen. At least 217 people were arrested on Thursday after clashes around the Youth House (Ungdomshuset) building in the Noerrebro district. Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen has condemned the rioters. Left-wing activists have occupied the building since 1982 but it was sold by the local council in 2000.

let's here it for the danish police.

daz really does get your blog whiter than white

the old blue, narrow blog has gone. Y took the campaign in for some cosmetic surgery and dr theo spark got his scalples out; creating the picture from the paint job idea i came up, and then worked on how to tweak the html to widen the posts and created the button link. fellow campaigners will find a few more buttons down there on the right; these link to dr theo sparks other blogs (one is best not to open at work whilst the other generaly has fun at horneywood's expense). the rogue gunner also chipped in so here's a plug, and another.

so what do fellow campaigners think of the new look? good old winston churchill ready to machine gun socialists and the boro badge... pure quality. 'the live with it' replaced by some good advice too.

take the sleasyjet

yesterday, about half four in kings cross i was reminded of why i always avoid using the train.

Y: single to darlington, please.

fat ticket seller in kings cross: open return?

Y: err, no. just a one way single.

fat ticket seller: that'll be £102.50 please.

Y: for a single? to darlington?

fat ticket seller: correct.

Y: how long does the journey take?

fat ticket seller: about three hours.

Y: so you're charging me £1 for every 2 minutes?

fat ticket seller: well you need to bare in mind it's about 200 miles north.

Y: and you need to bare in mind that's £1 for every 2 miles.

fat ticket seller: may i suggest sir tries taking the plane?

now, did he advise i use his competitors or was he politely telling me to fuck off?

take the fat man's advice; if drivings not an option travel by plane, even if it's sleasyjet.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

they've clearly never been to the western general

today the executive is back slapping like crazy after the recent nhs waiting times have been published and the scottish press duly reported headlines like this.

the royal infirmary is credited as being one of the worst in the country yet the scotsman felt the need to start their story with a spot of back scratching.

and when scottish papers see through the labour lies they do so in support of the nats.

but the fact remains that in the lothian region alone 6,000 patients have been removed from the waiting list and placed on the reserve-waiting list, so duh, the fdged figures are bound to look good. and let’s not forget that last June, the bma alleged that some nhs managers had asked for certain cancer surgeries to be postponed so more minor operations like wisdom teeth treatment could be done within waiting target times.

go private people - especially if you run the risk of being sent to the general western in edinburgh!

by the wayside

sometimes travelling can be fun, sometimes it can get too much; milton keynes, edinburgh, st andrews, halifax, leeds, marsden and guisborough. close to 2,000 miles in almost 2 weeks, the little motor didn't know what hit it. london tomorrow...

since the last post the boro nearly got humped; whilst england did in the egg chasing.

micheal meacher goes against gordon broon and the salford chipmunk begins her scurry for deputy.

del boy's reliant sells for £44,000 - the price of an rs4 - and is duly promoted to car of the week whilst drivers in northampton try riding on ethanol, tsk tsk.

Monday, February 19, 2007

sometimes true life is why people turn...

today the times announces that doctors feel nulabour have 'ucked up the nhs whilst in a totally un-related moment not designed to counter such bad news tony bliar announces new targets etc etc etc and so on.

ironic then that the Y campaigns' negative experience with edinburgh's general western hospital continues. ironic, as in, today the nhs dominates the news and today 'er indoors and i agree the nhs is useless.

so, the earlier post.

now today's post.... i deliberatly waited to post this in order to calm down...

firstly; the general western really, really hates cars. when they send out an appointment letter they nicely send out a little map to let you know where, within the metropalis of western general, the neurology department is. it even tells you were to park. well, try navigating their little narrow roads only to stop at every "one way only" sign and road painting. eventually we gave up and tried to park in the first car park we found.

security guard: "where are you going?"

Y: "into the carpark because we might be late"

security guard: "which department are you looking for?"

Y: "neurology"

security guard: "i'm sorry sir; this car park is for cancer patients only. you need to park in bays 7 or 8 only"

Y: "oh, okay. which way?"

security guard: "down this road sir, take a left and follow it's path going round to the right."

Y: "but i can't go that way because the signs say it's one way only"

security guard: "oh, that doesn't come into force until the 23rd. let me just double check."

eventually we parked up and found the now familiar reception area. this time our wait to be called was much shorter than last time. a young trainee walked us to the check-up room; along the way he politely chatted away, talking to us about what we should expect to encounter. flashing lights, induced epilepsy. he subtley asked a few 'patient history questions' such as; when was your last attack, are you on medication, nice weather today... for a newbie he was pretty good - shame i can't remember his name so i can say thank you in this, my own way.

in the room - a little disappointing - we found normal things. a small camera to record the treatment. an old nhs underfunded computer to track the results. a bed, strange paper style sheets covered it. 'er indoors was free to sit on these sheets, but as soon as she moved they were promptly disposed off and another replaced it. a sign of the times i suppose. a nice clean blue lino floor. a poster on the notice board letting all staff know that if they performed a basket lift they would be severly disciplined. another sign of the times? i guess i was hoping for something out of csi.

the treatment itself was routine. dump a load of goey stuff on her head where the plugs would go and lay her down in the correct pose. the problem was; not the fact the attack(s) began in august and only now are we seeing signs of the nhs doing something.... no no no. the problem was the staff!

seriously; last time we went the building was shoddy (see above). but the dodgy lino was replaced. there were no patients in the corridors and everything seemed as one would expect; a hospital full of poorly people being treated.

we were just so lucky as to get the most ignorant fucking useless doctor on the planet..!.!.!

oh how things change.

the doctor, well. where do i begin?

during the attachment of the many little probes in, walked this young girl. the trainee guy looked young; we're in our mid twenties and boy he did look young. at least he answered honestly; if he didn't know the answer he said so and went and checked. this girl looked "fourteen" as 'er indoors said. the young girl waltzed in, wearing the same clothes as the trainee. didn't announce who she was; just proceeded to whisper to the trainee. she got involved a little, but generally just whispered a lot.

the whole e.e.g. went on. all the time the young thing just whispered. the lights flashed, the computer monitered, the camera recorded and all along the young thing whispered.

here's the bone... anyone with t'interweb connection can find out what to expect with an e.e.g. but patients do not like doctors who ignore their patients. this young thing was actuallt the trainer to the trainee... how where we to know? no introductions, no name badge, no reference. if i see her again she will not be allowed anywhere near 'er indoors. not with a barge pole.

for the majority of the whole scan we were convinced there were two trainee's in the room and not a single doctor. i am also convinced that this concern / query affected the results of the scan; 'er indoors admitting she was glad i challenged the young thing to announce who she was.

if any doctors are reading this then please, please, please remember that patients are not numbers on a target list, they are real people. people with concerns and fears. when you forget this you make us hate you, hate you so much. all you had to do was announce yourself, or maybe not whisper everything you said. do doctors really forget that patients are human too; do they just not care; or do we keep getting the crap ones?

blogging will be light the next few days. i have to catch up on the work i've missed over this debacle...

it's simple science

light travels faster than sound; which is why some people seem bright until they speak.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

that sunday thing

it seems the vogue amongst bloggers to have some odd round-up of other blogs and highlight each other musings and so on - back sctratching is what the campaign calls it.

here's the campaigns version:

the only round up worth caring about it by scottish blogging roundup - it does exactly what it says on the tin.

chameleons have a clever arguement about why some laws, with good intent, are actually very bad laws.

world of jack has been added as link due to entertaining me; stalking jacky mcconnell with wit and patience - i couldn't follow a single minded campaign with such conviction and cleverness.

and good auld tel has been added because he really is the best advertisement for the destruction of socialism ever.

wife in the north has been removed. i have promoted this blog here, here but because of this i don't have the same affection for it. somehow it was more gripping when anonymous... i notice too that it is now .com not

and the good lord jamie sempill has also been deleted due his resigning as a scottish conservative candidate for edinburgh.

scottish lib dem pre-manifesto

makes for an interesting read. interesting also that the main stories to come out this weekend's conference was their call for more community police and not about any of the crazy things they've suggested below.

pages 4 to 9 are pure fantasy. they want to get rid of nuclear energy and have scotland powered entirely by renewable energy by 2050.
in 2004 1,043 wind turbines produced a mere 0.4% of energy consumption; a few million more might replace nuclear energy! solar power in the uk is unlikely to be very successful, sunny weather in britain? hydro-electricity only contributes 2% of needs, the entire british coast covered in wave turbines would not replace nuclear.

the crazy buggers also want to switch to "local energy" and talk of de-centralised energy. have these people not heard of engineers?

It is a hoot when you realise that the creation of the national grid out of more
localised distribution networks before WWII reduced spare capacity from 85% to
15%, a capital saving which represented 75% of the cost of creating the national
grid. And generating costs were cut by 25%.

page 5 even insinuates that scotland exports green technology to denmark... erm no. that's a lie. but then the lib dems are good at lying. the truth dear liers is that denmark is leagues a head of scotland on this one.

there's something admirable about pages 10 - 15, even if a little mis-guided. there is lots of intent for improving the lives of young people. however, the lib dems have proved they are not capable of fulfilling these aims. they have been in power for two parliaments and still have failed to do anything they promise in this document. secondly, there is no point calling for more football and basketball leagues on page 11 when the lib dems are openly against competitive sports.

their plans for the economy seem blinkered by the volume of jobs renewable energy will provide and thus concentrate largely on research; read page 18. if i was one of the thousands of people working in the oil industry i would be worried by this document.

on page 26 they call for stricter controls on cars around schools... good job for me that i only pass four schools on the way to work. maybe the lib dems will build extra roads so i can avoid schools. if they don't and restrict me from taking this route i will be forced to travel further due to these de-tours; that means more carbon emissions and all that other stuff eco-mentalists claim is contributing to global warming.

the lib dems are wrong on this; some people have to drive and legislating to increase their journey is plain stupid.

page 30 calls for more tax. oh dear...

people make me laugh

i've commented a couple of times about how i enjoy reading the blog 'wife in the north' - i probably enjoy it so much as i know the area she writes about as i grew up next door to it. also, i hate london and didn't particularly enjoy living in edinburgh and find cities as unfamiliar as she does the countryside. in a way the blog is the reverse of my own thoughts and experiences.

now the author has been rewarded for being better than the rest of us with a book deal worth around £70,000, good on her. her experiences of living in an unfamiliar world will be serialised by viking penguin books.

amusingly on the times website the comments section covering the story have attracted the p.c. brigade and the jealous. some people don't seem willing to let others be successful.

the first comment comes from someone who didn't appreciate wife in the north's opinion of health visitors... funny that, blogs containing opinions. that's the appeal of them. on the right i have linked blogs whose broad opinions i disagree with but read them as they are, at least, well written. if someone has a negative experience they are allowed the opinion on this. health visitors may well be generally good, but if there's a crap one then there's a crap one.

the second comment seems to come from someone who has slaved away to get a publishing deal herself and thus far failed. complaining that someone who has already been successful, and did so through unorthodox channels is poor form; in a way succeeding outside the box makes it more of an achievement.

now they've taxed you to death, they want you dead

one more step for eco-terrorists, one big blow for everyone else.

i thought nulabour idiocy on the motorway had reached its zenith when they demanded every child under 5 foot be strapped up in booster seats forcing families with more than two children to buy bigger motors to accomodate the extra space requirement. bigger motors, of course, condemed as planet killers by environmentalists and are thus uber-taxed. they legislated to force you to step up and be taxed more; brilliant.

now though they want to turn the lights off and let you crash in the dark. some numpty has decided that turning off the street lights in britain will have the effect of saving the universe so that is what nulabour will duly due.

by the time the trials are up and running 10% of the country's streetlights will be switched off the save the planet. the governments own findings argue that street lights reduce nighttime accidents by 30%. so they are knowgingly putting your life in danger!

"please come again"

some say i stole this from theo; they lie :-)

Friday, February 16, 2007

they really do think we're stupid

today the mighty home minister john reid announced he would build another 8,000 prison places.

last week tony bliar boasted "We built another 20,000 prison places." meaning this labour government have provided these places.

and then the mighty john reid goes over to south london; where 4 teenagers have recently been shot and chimes that there has been a huge reduction in crime whilst labour have been in power.

erm... from the top.

those 8,000 prison places will not be ready until 2012. that's over 5 years away! the prison population did "not start rising last wednesday" you ignorant fool, they have been going up for over 20 years. so you mean we have to suffer because of your short-sightedness? god i hope that every paedo and rapist that gets let out because of your idiocy takes the time to butt fuck you!

20,000 new prison places emperor bliar? really? is that right? are you sure now? you fucking moron. the only extra prison places you have the credit for are in bronzefield and peterbrough; the other seven were commissioned or being built by the previous tory government. that's before 1997 you fuckwit. i hope and pray every night that you get arrested for this 'cash for peerages' fraud and that they stick you in your own special prison. one so bloody small you cannot stand and then we'll hoist you above the gates of 10 downing street as a warning for all future prime ministers; do not fucking lie, cheat and abuse this country!

and our dear john again; who walked to the devasting scene of murder and gun crime and proclaimed that crime has fallen. you moronic little bastard; gun crime has doubled! what arrogance of this man who tells the bereaved family of a recently murdered son that crime is down when the only crime they give a fuck about has gone up?!? after you've been brutally raped by the same people you've happily set free to pray on our children, mr reid, i hope someone takes these guns and blows your balls off! you slimey, lying, two faced animal. there truly is no-one so evil hearted as you; playing politics with a bereaving family....

i suppose it keeps them off the street

have you heard the one about three little old ladies from county durham who knitted jumpers for penguins in australia?

competition time

our tel has been up to his usual. this time he's insinuating that our soliders lack intelligence and the media never write the truth about them - and to think he started off his post with a anti-israeli rant. legend.

for those who enjoy watching arrogance get verbally tongue tied have a read of terry kelly's latest reason not to vote labour whilst those who enjoy seeing arrogance get beat up read the comments.

oh yeah; the competition is to find out what exactly he is trying to say and/or the point of his post because i'm clearly not up to his heavyweight level.

are you reading her yet?

if not, then you are missing something powerful. this is what makes a good blog. if you want a daily blog that doesn't have the bizarrness of this one, then bookmark this. for the newbies go back a few weeks and follow the story.

hats off

to ada mason who lived to 111 years old! take a moment and think about that. she was born in 1896. my degree involved studying events more recent than that.

wishes and respect to an amazing achievement.

read more here.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

new setback for wembley stadium

just when we all thought wembley stadium was on course to be finished some time this decade, someone went and let john prescott jump up and down nearby; watch this!

am i missing the point?

all day yesterday the radio talked of how british children were the least well-off out of 21 industrialised countries with the nanny states of scandinavia battling with holland for "most well-off" - i do love officialdom speak! the beep even have a feature on it.

here's the thing; 3 out of the 6 criteria involved smoking, drink and sex... erm, how does a lot of that make one unhappy?

last night i had a conversation with a daily mail reading type who was bemoaning the loss of youth and the decline in something or another. when i asked her about her mothers childhood i was treated to stories of the jarrow march, life down the pits and being married off at 16! married off! the kids of scumdee may jumping in the sack earlier than they should be, but at least they get to choose who with...

the young 'uns today may be worse (pick category) than the whipper-snappers of the 50's and 60's who probably never had it so good; but be it a labour or conservative government, i would sooner but a teenager today than at any other time - and since greater prosperity beckons living here than elsewhere in socialist europe i would sooner be schooled here.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

it's catching!

earlier today i posted about a district council group leader being de-selected.

this was followed by a scottish conservative candidate confirming he had resigned.

and now an mp has been de-selected! crickey, is there a cull going on or is this just a random day?

Sir Patrick Cormack, one of the longest-serving MPs and the Conservative who
secured the biggest swing for his party at the last election, failed by a narrow
margin to be readopted at a meeting of his Staffordshire South constituency
association. Sir Patrick, 67, an MP since 1970, is expected to appeal to a full
meeting of his 500-strong constituency party to overturn the executive decision.
His majority is 8,847. Sir Patrick’s views have not always gone down well
with the Tory Right. He supports the Iraq war and tried to build consensus on
contentious issues, leading cross-party delegations to ministers.

n.b. de-selection is a poor term; the correct term is "not reselected", but ack - the result is the same.

scottish conservatives resignation?

jamie sempill has resigned as candidate for edinburgh central, or is that just a rumour?

check out his site on

update 1347; confirmed. scottish conservatives candidate for edinburgh central, jamie sempill, has resigned, though scco don't seem in a hurry to tell anyone. thoughts on who his replacement will be? i can't think of any local councillors for that area and the party is strongest in the south and west so no local choice from there.


yesterday on bbc news 24 they mentioned that the uk's oil production is set to decrease by 10% over the next few years. will the snp still continue with their daft claims that north sea oil will more than fund an independant scotland?

yesterday i defrag'd the auld man's laptop - it took 7 hrs!!! 82% of his hard-drive is full, largely of holiday pics. random.

yesterday i watched an association de-select their district council group leader; i can do this job for a long time and never see that again...

so, just what is noel gallagher's favourite biscuit?

Monday, February 12, 2007

the french lurch left and europe moves right

she may be attractive but royale's also a flipping nutjob.

whilst europe moves to the right (sweden the most recent country to elect a centre-right party) the french socialist party lurches ever more into insanity. when will these people learn, socialism does not work.

the best post for a long time

comes from mr. eugenides with his ode to patsy - even the picture is perfect.
the nhs has been in the news again with the closure of yet more, yet more broken promises and yet more nulabour spin. i was going to post but now i don't see the point, a great summary is available elsehwere.

here's a taste:

But we can be sure of one thing; Patricia Hewitt is a lying cunt with a soul as black as the pits of hell, and her stewardship of the NHS has been a fully-fledged disaster. There are no more words left to describe her; no more gruesome punishments I can imagine for this horrendous woman.

take a seat and give his post from saturday 10 feb a read.

peter hain is a dangerous man

the northern irish secretary, peter hain, has decided not to take an interest in the affairs of ulster but instead concentrate on his deputy leadership contest with an outrageous statement at the weekend.

he's called for city bonuses to be taxed and regulated by the government with two-thirds going to charity. apparently these bonuses

were fuelling envy and social discontent


first off; the government already taxes these bonuses - it's called income tax which is at 40% for high earners. so the government already gets 40% and now want another 66%...

secondly city bonuses are exactly that - bonuses. if middlesbrough football club are wanting to buy a new player who as the target of other clubs i expect middlesbrough to offer the higest wage to attract the best players. does mr hain object to this? if he doesnt then he cannot object to city bonuses as they are the same thing; big firms paying large somes for the best staff.

finally, the financial sector is one of the industries where britain can genuinely claim to be a world leader and the country benefits hugely from the revenue raised. for hain to threaten all this because he doesnt like to see successful people benefit from their labour is reckless and irresponsible.

i know he's making a lurch to the left to shore up some support for his deputy leadership campaign, but he should be careful. inward investment is scared off by such dangerous talk; and sounding like a socialist helps no-body.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

those dems seem set to make things interesting

a rare compliment for the left; but it seems like the democrats are intent on making things interesting as they drag american politics into the 21st century and away from the rich, white male zone it has become entrenched in.

first there came a woman, now comes an african american.

good on them i say.

who do you trust most to run the economy?

the party that ran up a £23 million debt or the party that can balance the books?

read here.

i wonder how their review is coming along.

Friday, February 09, 2007

glorious news!

i'm told that i am told this every year and react with the same glee... nothing like a dose of groudhog day style happiness. anyways, 'er indoors has just informed me that the danes don't celebrate valentine's day! excellent, both my wallet and i breathe a sign of relief!

and for those unlucky enough to have to spend a weeks pay on buying something just to avoid being nagged should think about buying this, link stolen from theo spark.

an ickle barney

someone told me i write about football too much; tough :-)

fake dr gillian mcfuck

i once called her the most annoying person on t.v.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

new candidate website launched

the scottish conservative candidate for livingston has just launched her website: fiona is could be described as one of goldie's girls - 3 of the 8 regions elected a female as first in the rankings under the party's one member one vote system, and fiona didn't do too badly either.

i envisenge several changes over the next few days but until then the site is near completion. spread the word, or indeed let me know if you spot any mistakes as we test the new additions.

you vs the rest of the country!

so who - like me - has only just discovered politicalsurvey2005 ? for those uninitiated you answer a series of questions on your politics and it generates a series of tables and charts to plot your beliefs/answers against the country. the country's answers come from polling for the 2005 election.

i was not surprised with the results it for me but i was very surprised to them compared against the country at large.

the first graph gives a snap shot of where you are on thee auld axis of beliefs. in this graph the vertical line ranges from socialist to free-market. i came very free-market, more than the majority. across the horizontal the range is from internationalist/rehabilitation through to hang'n'flog 'em and eurosceptic. i came almost dead centre - with the rest of the country! wierd.

the analysis goes on:

The results on this page refer only to your position on the first and most important axis. Positions on this axis describe your views on crime and punishment, Europe, and other transnational issues including immigration and international law.

it seems that 37.8% of men and 36.0% of women are to the right of me on these issues. now i find this quite surprising; i always knew i could be a tad liberal on these issues but i hadn't realised i was dead centre with the country and that a third are more right than i! curious. i wonder what questions pushed me to the centre; i have a tacit support for the death pentaly for the likes of hindley and shipman et al and am definately pro custodial sentences over rehabilitation (asbo's assured to get me going). maybe it was because i don't really mind about differing cultures/sexuality and all that stuff governments shouldn't be getting involved with.

moving on:

The results on this page refer only to your position on the second and less important axis. Positions on this axis describe your views on public and private involvement in the economy, international trade, redistributive taxation... and Iraq.

a whopping 84.3% of the country polled to the left of me with only 4.2% of those claiming to be conservatives to the right of me on these issues and only 2.2% of my age to the right. well, that's settled then.

the country is with me on the social issues but needs re-educating on everything else! :-)

anyone else slightly surprised by the results they got?